In our last conversation, he told me he still loves me, but that he had to end the relationship because his jealousy and insecurities no longer allowed him to be with me. He says that now he has made this decision, it’s a matter of pride for him to stick to it. He hasn’t contacted me since. How would you interpret this situation? Also, it’s extremely difficult for me to maintain no contact—I miss him a lot. it’s been 8 days since we last saw each other and 3 weeks since he left me.
Last updated on:2026-07-06T02:43:12+05:30
Comments (10)
i've been in that place where i held onto every word because "i still love you" gave me hope. 💔 i learned that love and choosing the relationship aren't always the same thing, and that was one of the hardest lessons i've ever had.
i know 3 weeks feels like forever, but i'd try to treat his decision as real until HE shows you something different. i spent months waiting for mixed signals, and no contact was the only thing that finally gave me a little peace.
Thank you. I think that’s the hardest part for me. A part of me keeps hoping he’ll come back because he said he still loved me, but I know I need to accept his decision unless his actions say otherwise. Today I’m fighting a very strong urge to contact him. I want to know what he’s doing, how he’s doing, and who he’s with, but I also know that, at this point, his answers would only disappoint me. I miss the kind, caring man I fell in love with.
before the breakup, was his jealousy something he was actually working on, or was it something you were expected to keep managing for him?
Throughout the relationship, I felt like I was constantly trying to reassure him and prove I hadn’t done anything wrong, but it never seemed to be enough. Looking back, I don’t think he was truly working on his jealousy while we were together. I went back to therapy, he didn’t.
im still stuck in the phase of knowing my ex isn't right for me, he is not my person, but still wanting him back and missing him.
Honestly what you have described, its best to take the time to heal and move on. Its good that hes giving you reasons why he cant maintain the relationship, however, by him stating its a matter of pride to stick to it is horrendous. He's saying he wants to remain broken up, but not willing to put in the work he needs to do to fix his jealousy and insecurities. Even if he does come back, please dont take him back until hes proven hes put in the work, otherwise youll be hurting so much more and it'll only be a matter of time until he leaves again
Thank you. I think that’s exactly where I am. Rationally I know the relationship had serious problems, but emotionally I still miss the man I shared my everyday life with. I know that if he ever came back, things couldn’t work unless he had addressed his problems. Unfortunately, I think he has placed all the blame on me, so I don’t think that will happen. I’m losing hope.
I feel that. I still struggle with all that too. not sure it will ever go away to be honest. im just trying to move on and not be bothered at this point. im exhausted and numb and have no fight or energy left for it.
I dont know. how bad did he takes those things out on you? I have found that men with those issues rarely are able to change those traits in themselves without dealing with why they have those issues because those issues are really a reflection of how they feel about themselves. they rarely have it in them to accept that about themselves and do the work to address that and change that. they will have those issues with anyone they are involved with once they are emotionally invested. they will seem all light and happy with the next but that is bc its new amd fresh and dont have real emotions invested yet, but notice that they will do the same to the next as soon as they start caring. its hard to feel like this now, but he really did do you a favor. jealousy in my opion is one of the worst emotions to struggle with because its 99% irrational so a man who cant deal with his own emotions has no place trying to even deal with another's emotion and think anything good will come from it. its selfish.
Thank you for your reply. He wasn’t just jealous, he genuinely believed things that weren’t true, no matter how much I reassured him. Despite all of this, I still miss the man I spent more than a year with before he became like this. It’s unbelievable to me that he doesn’t seem to feel the need to reach out to me anymore. I just can’t wrap my head around it. Rationally, I know everything you said makes sense. I just don’t know how to make this desire to hear from him disappear.