I got off work and I felt mentally unstable. I really hope I heal from this past breakup. Sometimes I think of regret, and other times I just feel like locking myself up in a room. I look back when I use to dated the guy and wished I never had mixed emotions, or even felt confused. I kept feeling confused because his actions never line up with his words. But maybe I went through it to help build me up and grow? I just know I deal with constant regret and feel like everything was my fault. I just feel like the problem still… I mainly feel like the problem for ever being myself as a person. lt hurts me. I dont talk to the guy anymore. But I was the problem maybe. I am young and the guy was 40. He was like a mentor to me in the beginning, and family I didnt had. I met him in a vulernable state in life. I was 19 when I met him and he was 39. I stayed in a on/off relationship with him for a year. I was honest with him that I didnt feel like the dynamic was healthy. I fell a couple times going back to him. But I am thankful the relationship ended. But i wonder sometimes when will I ever heal since its over.. I have too many memories on my mind sometimes of how I gave him up to $2k (rent,food, gas) and then he was a bad influence to me. He hurted me physically by assaulting me. idk im hurt. 🤔💭
Last updated on:2026-07-26T18:10:11+05:30
Comments (2)
i'm really glad you don't talk to him anymore. can i ask, do you have someone in your life who knows he assaulted you?
All these feelings are normal and natural, and confusion can be very prominent when exiting an abusive relationship. It makes sense to take time off work, as the body treats a break up as a physical injury and you need to recover. You will heal and work, when you’re able to return, will help you by distracting your mind for parts of the day. You were never the problem. I found the book ‘Why does he do that?’ by Lundy Bancroft so helpful in realising it was never my fault.