After 19 years together and 12 years of marriage my spouse and I are one month into our separation while continuing to cohabitate with our two kids. Constant cyclical fighting pushed us to this point—after brief periods of leaving and a temporary physical reconciliation we both agreed that a mutual path toward separation is the right choice. I am currently living in the attached apartment on our property to save up grow my income and work through settling our finances.
Recently a routine co-parenting discussion escalated into a major argument about past transgressions but it eventually settled into a moment of mutual understanding. We didn't decide to reconcile but we ended up holding each other and a flirtatious remark turned into a discussion about how risky it would be to sleep together again.
We both reaffirmed our commitment to staying separated recognizing that our past patterns won't magically fix themselves. We acknowledged that the moment was just a dopamine hit agreed to communicate through any lingering emotions over the coming days and decided to treat any physical intimacy moving forward as a pure "punch card" arrangement while we live our separate lives under one roof.
Last updated on:2026-09-15T04:00:12+05:30
Comments (3)
Don’t divorce. Love is still there.
Do you know each others patterns/attachment styles? Do you still love/respect each other? What got in the way? Have you tried counseling and everything else that you could think of?
obviously I am working on limited information, but it sounds like you are circling the drain.