I split from my partner in July on good terms. After two months of no contact I broke and called him last week. He answered and said he was happy to hear from me but mentioned his family is dealing with a severe illness. It hit me hard realizing he went through a major life crisis without wanting to reach out to me.
Now the initial dopamine high from hearing his voice has crashed and I'm terrified he'll move on with someone new before I can even heal. Despite trying therapy journaling and taking a month-long trip I can't get him out of my head. I recently unfollowed his Spotify to stop compulsively checking his activity but I still feel stuck. How do you move past the fear of being left behind when nothing seems to work?
Last updated on:2026-10-16T03:58:12+05:30
Comments (5)
do you think the fear of him finding someone new hurts more, or does it hurt more to realize you're no longer the person he turns to when life gets hard?
i feel you. I deactivated and deleted my Instagram because I know I will be checking his account constantly. But then I started checking his location on ‘find my’ initially. I knew it was unhealthy so I stopped checking for a a couple weeks but then just two days ago, I got curious on whether he still shared his location to me. I found his location in Las Vegas airport and then that night, he removed me from sharing his location and his contact completely disappeared. I was kinda holding on to that location hoping he still cares and somehow comes back to me… now I feel like I’m back to square one.
I fear being left behind too and is getting therapy. But I guess that instead of being constantly worrying about that “what Ifs” fears, we just still have to try to keep on improving alongside with it and hope we will feel better. I’m so sorry you are also going through this. I hope we overcome this someday somehow.
also, I still have my stuffs at his place. if he ever texted me to take them back, that’s another square one I’ll be hitting again. just as you, I’m gonna have that initial dopamine high from hearing his voice and crash again.
i had to stop checking my ex's socials because every little update felt like proof that life was moving on without me. honestly, i started feeling a bit more free when i stopped measuring my healing against what he might be doing.
i felt that crash after hearing from an ex too. for a little while, hearing his voice made me feel close to him again, then reality hit and i was right back to missing him like crazy.