my roomate recently got into a relationship (few months ago give or take) and I love that she’s happy and he’s a really sweet guy. however part of me just wants them to break up, they’re always calling late at night, always visiting each other every weekend. (we’re in college so we share a dorm room and live a few hours from home) and it’s just starting to drive me nuts. they call and watch movies so loudly right next to me constantly, and she hasn’t been here for the last 4 weekends. including my birthday. she ditched my birthday to visit his school and watch football with his friends. I love her but the resentment is building up so bad. and it’s only going to get worse when he transfers here in the spring. I don’t know if I’m just cranky and heartbroken and want everyone else to be, or if I’m actually valid.
Last updated on:2026-10-22T17:42:11+05:30
Comments (3)
you’re allowed to need quiet and presence in the room you pay for. maybe just tell her straight up that the late calls and constant volume are getting to you, without making it about their relationship.
i had a roommate sophomore year who basically turned our room into her boyfriend’s second home and it made me feel invisible in my own space. the birthday thing especially would’ve stung hard for me.
You are totally valid. You can be happy for someone and still feel hurt by how their relationship is affecting you. I don't think you necessarily want them to break up , you just want your roommate and your space back. The loud late-night calls, movie dates and her missing your birthday to visit him would understandably hurt, especially when you have been feeling heartbroken yourself. Sometimes when we are hurting, everything feels a little louder and lonelier.
I think you should talk to her honestly before the resentment builds up even more, especially since he will be transferring there in the spring. You could simply ask her to use headphones and keep the noise down at night. You are not a bad or evil friend for needing boundaries and you deserve consideration too.