I still feel in the same place as I once was. its not as intense of a feeling but I still feel so much heartache over the breakup. im not exactly sure how to detach from everything. ive deleted photos, have no contact, dont have him on any socials, I hang out with friends, and im still feeling hurt. I know people say it takes time but I feel like i haven't made any progress in my emotions and how I feel torwards the relationship. I have zero resentment even tho he didnt treat me well at all. I acknowledge all the things that happened but I still cant find it in my heart to hold it against him even though I know I didnt deserve it. It just feels like a lot of emotions still and I dont exactly know how to navigate it all. if anyone has ideas or tips I'd greatly appreciate it.
Last updated on:2026-04-12T15:08:03+05:30
Comments (4)
you think part of you is still holding onto who you thought he was, not just what he actually did to you?
i doing all the “right” things like no contact and staying busy but still feeling stuck in the same place. i remember thinking what’s wrong with me, why am i not over this yet. it’s such a weird kind of ache
Stop focusing on him. Focus forward on yourself. When you find your thoughts returning to him get up, or get outside, and get busy. Don't allow yourself to be a slave of such thoughts.Be proactive, be in control of your own thoughts, your own life. Fight for your mental freedom. Decide this guy can't control you anymore.
30 days is a great achievement but its just the start. you can try this letting go visualization i found on reddit:
"Ok, this may sound a little crazy, but it worked for me. Lie down. Close your eyes. Imagine....You can see her just a little bit away from you. You are both floating in air or water. There is a cord, or cords, linking you to her. Picture them clearly. (Mine are usually red). She turns and looks straight at you. Ok. You have to own what happens next. It has to be your choice, and you have to know that you are doing the right thing for you and there is no going back. It's ok if you cry. Because this IS final. Picture this now: you take out your scissors,scimitar, or your wood chopping axe and - swoosh! - you cut the cord. If there are many cords, even if it's like a cobweb, cut them all! Look! The ends are flying apart. You sever the connection. She is floating away from you like a boat or a kite. Sometimes they link back up, these cords. Like they don't want to be cut, the ends reach for each other, snaking and coiling. No! - Swoosh! Swoosh! - Cut them again. If she bobs towards you floating in the water, take a long oar or pole and push her away. Watch her disappear and be carried away on the current. Keep cutting those tendrils, those cords. When they are all cut, come back to now. Breathe. The next time you feel the tie that binds, do the same thing. Eventually they stop linking. Eventually you are free. But you have to want it. And you have to know there is no return, and that the bitter sweetness that feeds you but does not sustain you will dry up and turn into dust. Accept that and be free."