i moved to a new city recently and met a guy through instagram. he dm’d me first and we clicked really fast. at the start it felt intense in a good way he talked about marriage and made it feel like this could turn into something real.
a few weeks in he changed his story and said he wasn’t looking for anything serious and wanted something casual. i was really hurt but still stayed thinking it might go back to how it started. over the next 6 months his behaviour was inconsistent. following other girls lying barely calling texting random “wyd” messages and still staying in contact with exes. whenever i brought it up it always turned into arguments but i kept hoping he would eventually choose me properly.
then he blocked me everywhere. two weeks later he posted a picture with another girl someone from his past and it looked like he was doing all the things i had been asking for with her. that broke me. after about a month he came back saying they had broken up and started talking to me again.
i gave it another chance. at first it felt okay but the same patterns came back. when i asked him to unfollow his ex he said i was insecure and compared it to how he follows all his exes. after that he started pulling away barely texting not calling asking for space. i reacted badly out of anxiety and fear of losing him again.
i know i can get emotional when i feel unsafe. i start over-texting or calling because i panic. but when someone makes me feel secure i don’t act like that. he keeps blaming that reaction but the truth is i only get like this when i feel ignored or replaced.
after another cold interaction i saw him online late at night and felt like he was talking to someone else. i sent a message in the morning he replied very dryly and i just blocked him. now i feel stuck. i want to unblock him but i also know this cycle keeps repeating.
i don’t have many people to talk to here so i’ve just been sitting with my thoughts alone and it’s making everything worse. i keep going back and forth between missing him and knowing he’s not good for me and i don’t know how to pull myself out of it anymore.
Last updated on:2026-05-26T12:57:11+05:30
Comments (3)
Start with blocking him from your phone and social media. Then get into therapy to help you work through all of this, because you need to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, as well as learning about healthy relationship progression and behavior. If you were 'broken' after just a few weeks with someone that lovebombed you
Why are you talking marriage with an online stranger?
And please, for the love of all that is good, stop talking to chatbots
There have been too many people talked into suicide by those things
I'm sorry you're going through this. from what you've explained, you are well aware that this man does not make you feel safe mentally or physically because he has exhibited no traits of even trying to foster or maintain your trust. he does all these things because the simple fact is that he doesn't respect you. your reaction to his behaviour is completely warranted because he has created an environment where you are constantly on edge. he wants things to operate on his terms, not on yours. i know you miss him but know that you are better off without him. you deserve someone that will give you peace, not panic. it's tough in the beginning, everything feels too much and you feel like your body can't take it anymore. but believe me, you can. I'm sending you a hug and a promise that with time and self reflection, you will make progress.