My ex and I recently got out of an almost 3 year relationship, with the occasional ups and down. I’m am not proud to admit it but I sent some things I should have to someone else about 10 months ago. It was a one time thing and nothing else came of it, nothing physical and nothing that lasted days or weeks or months. I told my ex and we agreed to work on things and for the last 9 months that is what I have been doing, proving to them that it was a mistake and that I loved them and cared for them. I have found out that she was emotionally cheating on me with someone I was worried about for around 3 months. She hasn’t accepted the fact that as much I have hurt her she has also hurt me. We broke up about 2 months ago for other reasons, those reasons being she is scared to commit to this relationship without exploring herself and other people first. That being said, I see her on social media constantly and it seems like she is living her best life and does not give the relationship a second thought. I have found out that this is an avoidant tendency to mask your feelings with staying busy so they do not have to deal with the reality they find themselves in. I am still making the choice to love and care for her, because I believe that is true love (choosing to love someone knowing they hurt you and knowing it’s not always going to be easy). Seeing her not care about the relationship really hurts because 3 years is not a small amount of time, but it seems like it just doesn’t matter to her. Based on what I have read and seen on social media, most avoidant ex’s come back. I am not banking on that fact because I have been able to find my own closure of is she bas actually made changes in her life and wants to be in a committed relationship and wants to be with one person then I would be willing to give it another shot, however if I do not see those changes then I believe we should continue to stay apart. What do you think?
Last updated on:2026-04-29T18:54:09+05:30
Comments (5)
you’re holding onto her because you still believe in what you had, or because you’re waiting for her to become who you need
what would you recommend?
i messed up once and spent months trying to prove i wasn’t that person, then found out they were doing their own thing behind my back. that mix of guilt and hurt is brutal
i messed up once and spent months trying to prove i wasn’t that person, then found out they were doing their own thing behind my back. that mix of guilt and hurt is brutal
maybe yes maybe not. it is not your problem. heal and become more confident your will gain in all the possibility. maybe you will understand the problem with your ex and not retourn if they come back you know