I can't get over my regrets. I know that for the past five years, my lateness was driving him crazy. He made me promise I wouldn't be late for the civil partnership ceremony. The result: I arrived 45 minutes late, and I forgot to thank his family for helping me out. Since they hadn't given any money, I forgot to send a thank-you note, because I always relied on the envelopes. There's also the fact that he said he wanted to talk less in the evenings, that he needed time and space for himself, that he asked me to be more active, to stop lazing in bed, and to go to the gym with him. All of that was a missed opportunity because I panicked and cried, and I don't know how to forgive myself. People tell me, "You'll learn and grow." But what's the point if it's too late for him? It's even worse if I never find such happiness again… These mistakes could cost me a bleak future, when I might have had radiant happiness if I had listened more and been more responsible. 45 minutes late to a civil partnership ceremony with the whole family… Seriously. I'm ashamed.
Last updated on:2026-05-08T22:17:14+05:30
Comments (7)
i really don’t think you being 45 minutes late erased five years of love. i had a breakup where i obsessed over every single thing i “should’ve fixed” and it kept me stuck for months.
how stop culpability ?
i’m curious, before all this happened, did you feel like you could fully be yourself around him or did you always feel like you were trying to catch up to what he needed from you?
I was myself. But i always kept him before my own desire.
uff i’ve BEEN the person replaying every mistake like a punishment loop. my ex used to beg me to be on time too and i carried so much shame after the breakup thinking i ruined something beautiful with my own hands. that guilt eats at you at 3am 😞
i cant stop regret...
On top of that, because I don’t know why he fell out of love with me, I keep torturing my self-esteem and carrying all the weight of the relationship on my shoulders. I think he probably knows the reasons but doesn’t want to hurt me. Sometimes I wonder if I should ask him so I can heal. I don’t want to stay stuck like this for years.