Why am i struggling to let go after the breakup?

I’ve relapsed so many times, I’ve just stopped beating myself up about it when it happens.

what do you feel like you need answers about most right now, the breakup itself or whether he still cares?

FluxSnap258 2 hrs ago

honestly both, I feel like he’s upset with me and I don’t know why.

Reply

I completely relate to this. My ex left me with no real answers and I really think he just got scared of having deep feelings because I was his first. The best advice I’ve gotten from my Dad when I just kept saying “I don’t understand ___” He said that you’re never going to understand. And you’re only going to keep hurting yourself if you try to. In my case, I don’t think my ex even completely knows why he left. Sometimes - you can ask for that closure. Say you are having a hard time and need to understand what went wrong so you can move on. But if your situation is anything like mine, that will keep me more stuck. I’ll analyze his whole response. Do what’s best for you, but be prepared for any answer or NO answer. It feels relieving for 5 minutes after you send that text, and then you’ll be right back to spiraling.

when i got that urge, i started writing down everything i wanted to ask first. half the time i realized i didn’t actually want answers, i wanted comfort from the person who hurt me.

i used to convince myself one more call would finally give me peace, but most of the time i just ended up reopening the wound and analyzing every word after

No, dont its hard for you to moved on. Like me I leave a last message to him and still undecided if I can block him or not.

write him letter and don't send it. you'd be surprised how helpful it is to get what you want to say out on paper. also, think about how you will feel if you do call him and he doesn't respond how you want him to.

don’t do it. I promise, he won’t pick up- and if he does, what’s the best thing that can come of it?