i’ll treat this as a way to vent my feelings, but i hope i can get some comments about your thoughts.
i was in a 4 year long distance relationship. we’ve seen each other a bunch of times and i’ve lived with him for about 3 months during a long vacation. other than that we would still talk to each other every day, and call almost every day. i would stay up till 5 am for him.
he has a pattern of depressive moods where he feels really scared about the future and there’s nothing you can do to convince him it’s going to be okay. we’ve always have trouble in those moments, but most of the time he would just get a little distant. now, a week ago he suddenly broke up with me on call. that same day we had been talking like normal. the last thing i told him that day was that i got a gift for his grandparents which he replied happily to. it was a week before i was going to visit him.
; a month before this he was also struggling with the thought of our future. but he was crying to me that he couldn’t imagine a life without me and that he still wants to try. i trusted his decision as he paid €600 for my ticket to visit him, and i paid around €300.
back to him breaking up with me. suddenly he’s cold and calm. he’s saying that he doesn’t think we have the same things in mind for the future, and that he wants to make decisions without me in mind. it seems like he didn’t think about this clearly at all. when i said he would have to ship all my stuff to me suddenly he was like “ah i feel bad your stuff is here. we can talk about it later” when i said i dont want to he was again like “yeah i think it’s best we break up”. he was surprised that i asked for my €300 back, because he paid the majority of the ticket. “why would i have to do that?”.
later when my friend talked to him he still was clear and cold in his decision, saying that he’s choosing himself. it’s been a week, today was the day i was going to travel to him. from what i’ve seen he’s been living like normal. concerts, saying jokes on social media, having a daily routine as normal etc. he hasn’t contacted me since.
i’m already at a really low point in my life. i’m on a waiting list for treatment for my mental health that’ll take 1 year to start. this relationship was the only thing that could cheer me up. i feel unlovable and worthless, and am having trouble with the fact that now there’s only silence.
Last updated on:2026-08-23T22:30:12+05:30
Comments (4)
i'd try not to read his normal-looking life as proof that he never cared. i had to mute my ex everywhere because watching them laugh and go to concerts while i was barely getting through the day was absolutely wrecking me.
is it the sudden loss of the future you thought you were about to live together?
having the date of a trip with my ex circled on my calendar after he'd already ended things, and that day felt like proof that my whole life had just changed without me getting a say. seeing him joke around online while i was falling apart made it even worse.
I am so sorry. It hurts, but do not let your worth be defined by him. You are stronger than you imagine and you will be over this. Please take care of your mental health.