Today I realized that my ex never actually wanted anything with me; even looking back at the beginning, there were always signs that he never had any real intentions. I, on the other hand, wanted everything with him—I even once thought that if he were to kill me, I would die happy, just because it was him... Strange, isn't it? Honestly, I don’t even know what to feel, because he truly meant a great deal to me. He never asked me to be his girlfriend, nor did he ever confirm that we were in a relationship; he only asked me once, "So are you single?" That was enough to make me believe we were a couple. I believed everything that came out of his mouth, because, in my mind, he was incapable of doing what he eventually did to me... We became very intimate, which to me meant we shared a strong bond. I’ve moved past the idea that I ever truly mattered to him, but I still can’t get him out of my head... I fell so deeply in love with the image he crafted for me. I still miss, so much, the version of him from back when he was still pretending to care for me.
Last updated on:2026-10-26T05:25:12+05:30
Comments (6)
i know how much it hurts when you start looking back and realize you were building a whole future with someone who may never have been building one with you.
can i ask you something? when you miss him, do you find yourself missing the way he actually treated you, or the version of him who made you feel like you were finally someone special to him?
I'm so sorry that you are in pain by this situation. what strikes me is, how much you can love someone who seems like the wrong person. I can only imagine how much more you will love the right person that comes into your life. I have hope for you.
i used to blame myself for believing every sweet word, like i should've known better. but i can't regret having a heart that loved someone deeply, even if they didn't treat it with the same care. you don't have to hate him today just to admit how badly he hurt you.
it’s the worst when you join the dots 😢
i am sorry. you are worth a title, you are worth the effort, you deserve someone who values you. it hurts. it is going to for a while. it's ok to miss him. just stay strong. you know his true colors. remember your worth. don't forget to allow yourself to cry. be patient with yourself. self love. the love you were giving to him you now have to give back to yourself.