I moved back home after I graduated from college. my whole room is reminders of him. everything i have is a gift from him. honestly removing all the things I have in my room would leave it with barley anything left. it hurts a lot. it feels like im stuck in a memory. I wish I could just move on. I dont understand how it was so easy for him to leave. to not want me anymore. that I wasnt worth being with. I just feel so lost as to who I am anymore. its been a bit over 2 months and I feel like nothing is really easier. anytime I hit a road bump in life its magnified more by the thought hes not here to comfort me.
I just really can't understand how he just gave up on me and everything we had. I feel very worthless and stupid. that if he so quickly left then he really must have not loved me as much as I loved him.
currently im still trying to get the stuff I left or what was ment to be a gift back from him. I feel in a way he's holding it all hostage. id really like it back but he says he wants to think about giving back some stuff. which is fair because he bought those items. but I cant help but feel like its emotionally fucking me up. having to wait until next week to be done. then there would offically be no ties. everything would be done.
half of me thinks that if he sees me one last time he'll realise what he missed or maybe he'll already want to talk and get back togeather.
I know its delusional thinking but I really cant help but feel like an idiot for wanting it so badly.
ive tried talking to my friends but they just dont understand the pain i feel. I only have 3 close people. one that I normally rely on but she seems to be getting annoyed with my constant hurt over my breakup. I understand and I dont blame her. the lack of compassion just has me feeling so lonely and stupid.
its not like I want to feel like this. I really dont. I just dont have anyone to go to where I feel comfortable to be so vulnerable.
im sorry its so long of a post. thank you for listening to me. I have just so many feelings and I really dont know who to rely on or go to. it feels like its a cycle of just missing what i used to have.
Last updated on:2026-05-13T18:06:11+05:30
Comments (6)
i had to move back into my childhood room after my breakup too and every shelf felt haunted by him. the gifts, the clothes, the little random things she touched all make it feel like she still everywhere except actually WITH you
First of all, you've come so far, 56 days no contact is not a joke. And you're not stupid, I hear you and as stupid as it sounds, you're going to be fine. My boyfriend also broke up with me last year august. I've attempted to stay no contact, this is the 6th time, and I totally understand how humbling it is to realise they really don't want you anymore. I also thought that if I say one more thing, have one more conversation, chase him a little, meet him, maybe that will make him realise what he lost and come back to me. But everytime I broke no contact, I felt worse than before. I could get so hurt. so I decided to accept the fate, that there's nothing I can do and that I can't control his decisions. I miss him sometimes yes, but the hurt is bearable with each passing day. I'm committed to keep no contact. You will be fine my love, we will be. know that you're loved and your value isn't tied to him. you have everything you need (You) 🫂❤️
i don’t think you’re stupid for wanting him to change his mind when you see each other again. i felt the exact same way picking up my stuff from my ex, like maybe one look at me would make him remember us.
do you think getting your things back is giving you hope because there’s still one last connection left between you two?
start by repainting and remodeling what you can then go from there
I am currently going through the same thing. I am recently out of a 3 year relationship and from what I have seen and from what I can assume my ex does not care all about how her actions have affected me or our mutual friend group or anything of the sorts. I recently broke no contact so that her and I can sort out some boundaries. But it is so hard to see them move on without acknowledging we existed to them.