Thought I’d give an update as it’s been a while since I posted on here.
Honestly, the last few months have changed me a lot. Since the breakup I’ve lost weight from 99kg down to 83kg, started running properly, joined acting classes, got back in the gym and recently attempted the West Highland Way solo with a backpack and tent. Ended up doing 58 miles before injuring my calf and having to stop early, which gutted me at first, but I’m still proud I did it.
For a while I genuinely felt like I was moving on well. Not “over it”, but becoming happy in my own life again. I started enjoying my own company more, getting up early, appreciating little things, feeling more confident and more like myself.
But recently it’s started creeping back up on me again.
I seen my ex recently for the first time in months and it was calm, friendly and honestly really nice seeing her. Since then I feel like a lot of emotions I thought I’d processed have resurfaced. I think about her every day again. Not even just romantically, I genuinely miss her as a person and my friend. Some days I’ll just be walking home, look at the sky or sit in my house and feel this weird loneliness hit me out of nowhere.
What’s strange is I actually prefer my life and who I am now compared to who I was during the relationship. I’m proud of the man I’m becoming. But I still love her and if I’m honest, part of me still wishes we could reconnect one day, even though another part of me thinks she’s probably moved on with her life now.
I think that’s something people don’t talk about enough with breakups. Healing isn’t linear at all. You can be growing massively and still miss someone deeply at the same time.
Anyway, if anyone reading this is struggling, just know you’re not failing because you still have waves months later. Sometimes grief comes back around when you least expect it.
Still moving forward regardless.
Last updated on:2026-05-18T21:06:11+05:30
Comments (5)
i think you’re handling this healthier than you realize. i stopped beating myself up once i accepted that moving forward and still loving someone can exist at the same time.
when you saw her again, did it feel more comforting or more painful afterward? sometimes i can’t tell if seeing them helps or just wakes everything back up again.
Strangely, for me it actually felt nice seeing her again. I didn’t get butterflies, my stomach didn’t drop, and I didn’t feel anxious, which honestly felt like progress. It was calm, normal and genuinely nice seeing someone who was such a big part of my life.
I think what’s been hard recently is what came after. A few days later, after replaying how civil and comfortable everything felt, I started thinking “maybe if we were the people we are now back then, things might not have ended.” That’s the part I’ve struggled with.
But at the same time, I also know I probably wouldn’t have become the person I am now without going through that loss. The growth, the running, the hike, the gym, becoming more emotionally aware… all of that came after.
I know I’ll love someone again one day. I genuinely believe that. It’s just tough sometimes carrying the love you still have for someone while also accepting life might be taking you in different directions.
after my breakup i changed so much too, started taking care of myself again, got stronger mentally, even found parts of me i’d lost. but seeing him again cracked something open that i thought had healed already. it’s such a weird feeling when your life is objectively better but your heart still misses THEM.
Honestly, your progress blows me away. Dropping from 99kg to 83kg and running 58 miles solo? That’s epic. You really show what it means to focus on getting better instead of just trying to impress people.
Thanks for being real about those old feelings coming up again. It’s easy to think we’re messing up if we still miss someone after all this time and hard work, but like you said,healing’s not a straight line.You can become a completely new version of yourself and still have a heart that remembers.Your post really gave me hope today.
Just keep going, you’re well on your way to becoming the man you’re supposed to be.