Why isn't he coming back?

Don't rush it. Be patient, keep yourself busy. Mine came back after 3 months later only to leave again. Traumatized me all over again. I wish he would have just stayed away.

i know everybody pushes no contact like it’s some magic trick to get them back, but honestly the only thing that helped me was finally treating it like it was for ME. the waiting and analyzing every little thing was making me lose my mind too.

was he the type to completely shut down during conflict even before the breakup, or did this full blocking thing come out of nowhere

Jeyjey 4 wks ago

we used to have fights all the time but normally because of his stupid jealousy and he start saying mean things and i block him
our breakup started when he saw me getting sick and the doctor asked him if he did something to me (he got scared) as he said
then he start being away telling me he is traumatized and he can't handle seeing me dying (it's bullshit because he knew from day one that i'm sick) then he treated me in a bad way after that he came back telling me he used to ask everyone about me he didn't move on he was watching me
then i lost my job because i was in a shit because of him and he knows that and the company booked my ticket and we met that night he kissed me he cried he said he will come to my country and we made promises that whatever happens we will find our way back and he took one month vacation from the work because i will not be there and he really did
we start talk again but both were in a shitty situation he is telling me i left him and i lied
and I'm blaming him he broke up with me and he treated me like shit and we had big fight i blocked him 2 days later i unblocked him and sent him proof that i was not what he accused me and told him i'm not interested in fixing this anymore
he start saying shit to me and blocked me
this is the first time he block me

Reply

dont wait. live your life even though it seems impossible. no contact in hopes it makes someone miss I you, only keeps you in a toxic cycle. do you really want to be with someone who doesnt require your presence all the time or only when its convenient for them. stop being available. remove access on your end. all youre doing is proving to them that they can come and go bc you will always be there no matter what. its so hard. im 2 months in to break up after he had already moved on wuth his ex before breaking up with me. 10 years of going in n out of contact. enough is enough. still kills me to ignore his vile behavior and zero accountability and constant deflection (might get a no contact order)...I want ro react but im training my mind to be stronger than my emotions so I can finally have peace.

feeling almost offended by the silence too. like how do you go from talking every day and planning a life together to acting like someone died. i kept checking my phone for MONTHS thinking surely he’d come back once he cooled off

That is an awful thing to experience. it is so painful to be so close with someone and feel like they let go like it was nothing. I hope you can get to a place of taking space for you rather than doing it hoping he will come back. I'm trying to do this myself and it's so hard, but you deserve your attention and energy more than some guy who won't give you the time of day after everything you 2 shared

I feel ya and it's called reverse psychology, I have seen it work many many times before but maybe he's just not the one or maybe it's going to take him longer to realize what he wants. keep your head up