I've been with my boyfriend for four years — since I was 15 and he was 17. On June 26th, I caught him with another girl for the first time. We broke up, I hit him in the moment, I regretted losing control like that, but I gave him weeks of silence afterward. He chased my car, stared at me, sent messages through other people. About a month later, we had this deep, emotional reconciliation night — and two days after that, he was back to denying everything, gaslighting me all over again.
Then on July 28th, I caught him a second time, with a completely different girl — someone he'd apparently been "official" with for three to four months. He tried to hide her from me. When I confronted him, he called me toxic, unpeaceful, controlling — like his mother. He said he'd been trying to end things with me since 2024. He told the girl he still had feelings for me, right in front of her, then laughed about it, joked about a threesome, spanked me without consent as I left, and winked at me when she wasn't looking. He humiliated me — narrating out loud that I'd cry immensely when I got home, and he was right, but he said it like a performance, not with any real remorse.
Looking back, I can see the pattern now. In 2024, right when our intimacy was deepening — after I helped him study for his English exam, after a night where he told me our feelings were so connected he could still smell my — sorry, his fragrance stayed on my body for three days after we were together — he started pulling away. He called me, said he felt like a failure, made me cry, then said he was joking. Then in January this year, he confessed he'd lied — he'd never actually moved on. He admitted he has abandonment issues. He's told me, more than once, that he's scared of being replaced by someone better. And yet he still chose to lie, cheat, and hurt me anyway.
Since July 28th, I've held complete no-contact. It's now been 25+ days, and he's made over ten attempts to get my attention — whistling, calling my name, staring at me for long stretches, even asking "should I come there" when I stopped responding to him one day, which scared me enough that I went inside my own house. I've never responded to any of it. Not once. He's living right next to me, so I see his car, hear his voice, and I still hold my silence every single day.
The really painful part is watching him "show up" for her in exactly the ways I begged him to show up for me for years — taking her to school, packing her lunch, moving her in with him — and it hasn't even been six months. Four years, and I never got that. I keep asking why, even though I already know there isn't a fair answer. I know he's not really at peace with her, because peace doesn't stare, doesn't whistle, doesn't threaten to show up at someone's house. But it still hurts to watch.
he said she gives him peace,but he has made 11 total attempts to get my attention or a reaction out of me,in these last 26 days since I've been in no contact, nd I haven't answered any of his attempts, nd he called me toxic nd unpeaceful he also said i control him like his mom
Last updated on:2026-08-24T04:31:12+05:30
Comments (6)
i'd keep the no contact exactly as it is.
i feel uneasy reading about him staring, whistling, and asking if he should come to your house. do you have someone nearby who knows what's happening and can be with you when he tries to get your attention?
I'm not even scared of him,he won't even think about coming to my house because he knows we'll both land in trouble nd he's trying his best to get my attention nd I ain't budging at all,he's really try again and again nd I'm not shame
I get u. its really hard to see the people who u loved soo deeply wanted them to give the version we craved for - to another person. here I've just had a breakup. ut was 2.5yr relationship. completely healthy. many even gets jealous by the way he treats me. and now suddenly he says he wants threesome and foursome and since he does love me he says he doesn't want to it separately, he wants me to b with him too. it's so toxic. coz I'm a one man women. but thn he said. I know u r a very good human. but I can't change for u. but for sure I'll change for my wife. I wouldn't even ask her things like this...
this is wat he said. seeing u , u r literally living next door. I hope u move out ASAP. coz those kinda people r very toxic. I moved out of my city. just 2 days before. now itself I'm in a lil peace. so I'd recommend u to do it too.
watching an ex give someone else the exact things you begged for can make you question your whole history with them. four years of being denied those things hurts like hell, especially when you're seeing it happen right next door
it's really hurtful,but there's nothing I can do much,the thing only thing I control is my silence nd it's clear he's not at peace cause he has been chasing me ever since,I went into contact, nd today is the 26th day of no contact nd he has made 11 attempts Friday he made 5 attempts but i thought he had peace,nd he was happy