Why do i still care after breaking up?

Author

My ex treated me as badly as anyone ever could and I absolutely don't want to be with her again and don't want to contact her again.

I have blocked her everywhere but she can still email me and she did on Thursday night asking me not to harm myself because of how angry and upset I was with her when we last spoke. I have not replied. There is a part of me that wants her to suffer knowing how badly she hurt me. I want it to ruin her summer, I want it to ruin her relationship with the man she chose over me. I know it's not healthy, but after only 2 days it's how I feel.

The pain i feel now is because she hasn't contacted me again. I didn't check my emails all day yesterday and when I did and saw there was nothing there, it made me feel so sad. Despite not wanting to have anything to do with her, I still want to feel like she's missing me or thinking of me. Has anyone else had these mixed feelings? How best to work through them?

Last updated on:2026-07-10T21:46:42+05:30

Comments (6)

kk066251
kk066251 3 mths ago

that part about feeling sad there wasn't another email really got me. πŸ’” was it the silence itself that hurt, or did it make you wonder if she'd already moved on?

Sparrow
Sparrow 3 mths ago

She already has moved on. The guy she cheated on me with has moved to her city and they are/were on holiday together. She has essentially been leading a double life these last few months. Despite this, I am still desperate to know whether she's thinking of me, worrying about me, missing me πŸ˜” Even after I found out everything she still kept saying she loved me, she just loves this other guy more I guess πŸ’”

witchaus
witchaus 3 mths ago

i checking my phone every hour after i blocked him.

Sparrow
Sparrow 3 mths ago

It's so hard isn't it. How are you getting on now?

BlankoStank
BlankoStank 3 mths ago

i wanted my ex to hurt the way i was hurting, but i also kept hoping they'd reach out. both things can exist at the same time, even when you KNOW you're done.

Sparrow
Sparrow 3 mths ago

That's very true. I'm glad it's not just me. How are you getting on after 35 days?