Why do i still care after breaking up?

Author

My ex treated me as badly as anyone ever could and I absolutely don't want to be with her again and don't want to contact her again.

I have blocked her everywhere but she can still email me and she did on Thursday night asking me not to harm myself because of how angry and upset I was with her when we last spoke. I have not replied. There is a part of me that wants her to suffer knowing how badly she hurt me. I want it to ruin her summer, I want it to ruin her relationship with the man she chose over me. I know it's not healthy, but after only 2 days it's how I feel.

The pain i feel now is because she hasn't contacted me again. I didn't check my emails all day yesterday and when I did and saw there was nothing there, it made me feel so sad. Despite not wanting to have anything to do with her, I still want to feel like she's missing me or thinking of me. Has anyone else had these mixed feelings? How best to work through them?

Last updated on:2026-07-10T21:46:42+05:30

Comments (6)

kk066251
kk066251 2 wks ago

that part about feeling sad there wasn't another email really got me. 💔 was it the silence itself that hurt, or did it make you wonder if she'd already moved on?

Sparrow
Sparrow 2 wks ago

She already has moved on. The guy she cheated on me with has moved to her city and they are/were on holiday together. She has essentially been leading a double life these last few months. Despite this, I am still desperate to know whether she's thinking of me, worrying about me, missing me 😔 Even after I found out everything she still kept saying she loved me, she just loves this other guy more I guess 💔

witchaus
witchaus 2 wks ago

i checking my phone every hour after i blocked him.

Sparrow
Sparrow 2 wks ago

It's so hard isn't it. How are you getting on now?

BlankoStank
BlankoStank 2 wks ago

i wanted my ex to hurt the way i was hurting, but i also kept hoping they'd reach out. both things can exist at the same time, even when you KNOW you're done.

Sparrow
Sparrow 2 wks ago

That's very true. I'm glad it's not just me. How are you getting on after 35 days?