so basically ever since we broke up . Like the night of it . He went back to his old ways . Like he'd made some questionable decisions in the past and some really immature actions which he's bettered from . But really ever since we broke up and honestly a little bit before that (couple days) he'd been going back to his old ways . And when we were talking after we brokeup he said he didn't want a lot of "responsibilities and pressure" when he was the one that asked to be in a relationship and started liking me first ... anyways . Earlier in the relationship he agreed on bettering himself , now hes going back to his dirty ways , I feel as if I am betrayed in a way because I did tell him to do it for me and so he could be a better person . I believe whatever goes around comes around . this honestly makes me dislike him more . any advice or similar situations?
Last updated on:2026-07-18T22:26:29+05:30
Comments (11)
this is exactly what happened to me
we broke up bcoz of his non challant behaviour and he was getting better but ever since we broke up he became worse that's what he told me.
when I asked him if he was ready yesternight he said for the first time in a long time we are actually talking without fighting and he wants it this way, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I'm Soo hurt right now
he was saying it so casually as if it meant nothing.
he doesn't want a relationship but he wants me to keep texting him and talking to him.
When I told him I was going to block him, he felt so hurt.
but I still did.
I really want to get over him
I really want this pain to finally end
you made the right choice . for me I broke up with him . it was my choice. but later on when we were talking about it he did say "thank you for making me realise who I am and I honestly feel like I'm too young for a relationship and I'm not ready , maybe that's why I keep hurting you" and Im honestly so grateful for that decision that just shows how much he cares . He agreed to breaking up , not because he didn't care , because he cared enough for me to stop getting hurt .
i get why you feel betrayed
that part about him saying the relationship felt like "pressure" stood out to me. was he actually changing because he wanted to, or because he thought it would keep the relationship?
During the beginning of our relationship. I didn't have to ask him to change anything, he really did everything himself because he knew what he did was wrong and wanted to better himself and realised it was wrong . But around 3 months ago after a problem in school that caused anxiety and overthinking for me it's been different. Like I'd question everything he did and it got to a point where he started doing things that he had never done . We were really close but then he started asking for space . On the 9th of July , I broke up with him because I couldn't be in a relationship with anxiety and overthinking. Like it got so bad that my heart would sink everytime he'd send a message. And honestly we are young and he just wants to be with his friends and play games . I thought he'd be mature given the fact we had similar family situations but not really. He said that the tried to change but couldn't because "that's who he is" so when I broke up with him and we were speaking on call he said that it's a lot of pressure and responsibilities to be in a relationship which he could handle in the begginning but now we both need to work on ourselves. He said he's not ready for a relationship when I asked if we were gonna get back together. Which make sense because honestly he's really immature and he knows that . There wasn't a toxic , cheating problem which makes everything harder to get over . He was really a great guy and really helped me in ways no one else could but it sucks to be in a relationship where I'm constantly worried and getting hurt and to be fair it was a lot of pressure on him . Because I was constantly like "stop this , change this , do that" and it was a lot . He stayed for long though so I can't say he didn't try . Normally if I were to breakup he'd fight for it but he knew he hurt me a lot and he loved and cared so much that he agreed to it to stop hurting me .
my ex promised he'd change too, then the second we broke up he slipped right back into the same habits. it hurt because i realized i was grieving the person i HOPED he'd become, not the one he kept choosing to be.
yes but now I realised that he's in a worse position than I am . He's the one making bad decisions that WILL affect him in life .
. Boys will be boys, and if their mother and him have a crappy relationship, pay attention. Pay attention to the type of relationship that boy has with his mother, because sometimes he has a mother that taught him to be that way. Not all mothers are good and perfect and loyal, some actually have been exactly like men and disloyal and dishonest, and showed their sneaky ways to their children. those children adapted to their ways, because these folks supported them financially and controlled them that way. Keven Corcoran
They never change, I also experienced the same situation. I believe they always change for what they want to change for. Him going back to his old ways was just him not willing to better him self for you. You will be okay my advise would to just let him go because begging him to change or better himself again will emotionally drain you especially if he's not ready to change.
thanks so much it's just really hard because at one point he really did want to change and he actually changes for the better . Only for a couple months he wanted to go back and now he's back . I broke up with him 9 days ago
. They will always show you who they are, no matter What they say. Action actions do not match words. Red flags are red flags 7+ years of this, and the third relationship in DV. I refuse to let this person back into my house ever again.