My boyfriend and I broke up about four months ago and honestly these have been the hardest months of my life.
The breakup itself has been painful enough but what makes it even harder is that it wasn’t my choice. I loved him deeply and every morning has felt like a battle just to get myself out of bed.
I’ve been moving through waves of sadness anger grief and hopelessness. No matter what I do I still find myself thinking about his face and missing him. Some days are easier but the pain still finds its way back.
I do think things have gotten a little better but I don’t fully trust my own mind right now. I don’t know if I’m actually healing if time has just softened the worst parts or if a part of me is still holding onto the hope that we’ll find our way back to each other.
And somewhere in the middle of all this new feelings have started coming back too.
I’m horny. 😭
When we first broke up my entire body shut down. I didn’t want to eat drink talk or do anything except sleep. My desire completely disappeared.
And I don’t mean I’m interested in someone else. I mean I miss that part of myself and I miss him. What we had felt so intense and special. It felt like something I’d never find again.
I’ve watched old videos of us together and for a moment it brings everything back. The connection the memories the feelings. Then afterwards I crash and feel completely broken all over again.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel like myself again.
Last updated on:2026-08-01T00:31:12+05:30
Comments (4)
the desire coming back while still missing him is so real.
😢
do you notice the hope of getting back together getting louder or quieter on the days the pain comes back strongest?
same boat. 4.5 months post break up. 42 days of no contact. im much better but thr waves of saddness creep up too. I think im ready to try to date but then every time im asked out I turn it down bc i am still afraid of getting shattered again...so prob not ready.
the no choice part hits so hard. mine ended the same way four months in and i swear every morning felt like dragging myself through mud. that missing his face thing never fully left even when the days got a little lighter.