I met an amazing girl around 2020 and from the beginning we fell deeply in love. We shared dreams about traveling building a family and creating a future together. We supported each other through everything and were not just partners but best friends.
But life became difficult for both of us. She carried deep trauma from her past especially around abandonment. She often struggled with anxiety fear and feeling like small things could be signs of danger. I also started dealing with severe chronic fatigue and pain which affected me physically and emotionally. Sometimes especially when I was exhausted or anxious I struggled to show affection and intimacy in the way she needed.
Despite that I always tried my best to be there for her. There were times when she was struggling mentally and needed a lot of emotional support and I gave everything I had even when I was struggling myself. But because she was in such a difficult place I often felt like I didn’t have much left coming back to me.
There were moments when her anxiety and trauma became overwhelming and at the same time my health issues made it hard for me to provide the level of closeness and reassurance she needed. I would hold her comfort her tell her I loved her and try to make her feel safe but sometimes it still wasn’t enough. I felt helpless because I didn’t know what more I could do or how I could be better.
Eventually she would reach a point where she felt too hurt and ended the relationship. Then after some time apart she would come back because she missed me loved me and saw me as her safe place. This cycle happened a few times throughout our relationship and every time we came back stronger and happier.
But over time the combination of my health struggles her trauma and other pressures in her life with family friends and work became too much. Even though the love was still there she felt she couldn’t continue.
And now it happened again.
The hardest part is that we weren’t falling apart because we stopped loving each other. We were still making plans laughing joking and having beautiful moments together. But then suddenly she told me she couldn’t do it anymore. She was hurting too much and didn’t even have the ability to talk through it or answer my questions.
I had just spent months giving everything I had to support her through her struggles and I couldn’t believe she could disappear from my life again after all these years. I’ve been completely shocked and devastated trying to process what happened while also dealing with my own health problems.
She told me she misses me and loves me but that she is too hurt to feel those things right now. I told her how much I love her how much she means to me and how much I believe she is an incredible person.
I know I’m not perfect. I have my own flaws and sometimes I probably judge myself too harshly. But I know one thing about myself: I am loyal I love deeply and I would do anything for the people I care about. I would never abandon someone I love because they were struggling.
That’s why this hurts so much. Part of me feels like it’s unfair but another part of me still blames myself. I wish I could have been healthier. I wish my pain and exhaustion didn’t limit how much love I could give or how easily I could show it.
I also wish I had been better at expressing affection giving compliments and communicating when I was struggling. Sometimes when I was in pain anxious or overwhelmed I would withdraw instead of explaining what was happening. I’ve tried to improve that and tell her that needing space doesn’t mean I love her any less but I still wish I had done better.
Now I’m here struggling to even believe this is real.
It’s incredibly painful when there is still so much love between two people but circumstances and personal struggles slowly damage something that once felt so special. I fought for this relationship every day. I tried to overcome my limitations support her and be the partner she deserved.
At least I know I gave everything I had. I loved her with my whole heart and did everything I could.
But now I’m afraid I may never get the chance to give that love and partnership to the person I love most again. The person I love more than myself.
Last updated on:2026-08-03T18:04:11+05:30
Comments (4)
i felt the part where you kept wishing you'd been healthier. i did that to myself for months.
when she came back after those earlier breakups, did she ever work on the abandonment fears that kept pulling you both into the same cycle, or was it mostly the two of you hoping love would be enough
i've loved someone through trauma too, and i remember feeling like if i could just love harder, be more patient, maybe we'd make it. when it ended, i blamed every bad day my body gave me
I really feel you!!!!! I'm going through the same. I don't want my ex to lose hope about us even if she have right now. the thing i find comforting in is trying to self improve and build a life without her so if she came back wasn't my everything. for us I think my whole life surrounded by her and she felt suffocated by that and that my constant need to fix it right away only drove her more away.