I've sent this message to my avoidant ex: I’m not giving up on us, but I agree that we need a fresh start. Take the time you need to breathe. We can talk about how to move forward when you’re ready.
I've feelt this was a mature text that isent the same dynamic that I'm chasing but more accepting and more secure. I did not want here to think I dont care. so yeah I broke the 2 day NC streak. I feelt that I needed to draw a line and say what I need to say.
what do you think?
Last updated on:2026-08-07T01:06:50+05:30
Comments (9)
i actually think your message sounds calm and respectful. now i'd leave it there and let your actions match your words. giving someone space only works if we actually give them the space.
did sending that text make you feel more at peace, or are you hoping it'll change how they respond? sometimes that answer tells us more than the message itself
it made me feel more at peace. a couple of hours later she answered and said I need a little time and suggested a job for me. I think that was positive. if she feelt that it was too much she wouldn't answer
this one really hit home for me. i sent something almost identical once because i wanted my ex to know i still cared, not because i was trying to pull them back. i don't regret saying it, but i did have to accept that the next part was theirs, not mine.
how did you feel after sending it? and did you get an answer?
when I did at the end I never got a response or call I was ghosted but I least I told him how I felt at the end. It hurts because I start to question everything, I don’t want to be someone distraction, I don’t want to be someone’s maybe or second option . I want to be chosen like how I would have chose them completely . I have a feeling he will come back but he may not come back to the same person he knew. Although love can be difficult it shouldn’t be hurtful , to walk away so easily
I totally agree. why should we settle to be someone's distraction lr maby/second option. I got an answer from her saying she needed a little time. I feelt at peace knowing I said what I needed and that the person she think she had have grown in to more mature and secure than she could see in the last days together
Honestly I think it’s good that you said what you felt and was straight forward because you let your avoidant take time to think about what you want and not make them feel pressured or wanting to pull back more. I said the same thing too and not all people can handle an avoidant .
thank you for validation! it was the last month I saw our attachment styles and how that pattern repeated it self and we did not grow from it. how did it go for you when you texted it?