Why did she block me? dealing with heartbreak and confusion

I recently lost contact with the girl I dated for two years and I'm really struggling with everything that's happened.
After we broke up we went through a period of no contact. When we started talking again it honestly felt like things were heading in the right direction. I thought we were reconnecting and maybe we'd have another chance. But as the summer went on she slowly started pulling away. She blocked me on Snapchat again blocked my number and told me she needed time to heal and couldn't give me what I was hoping for.
That was the moment I decided to stop trying so hard to convince her that I had changed and that things could be different this time. We didn't speak for about three and a half weeks.
Then on my birthday she reached out. I kept it simple and just said "thank you." I got the feeling she wanted to keep the conversation going but I didn't think it was a good idea because I felt we'd just end up back at square one.
A couple of days later I saw photos from what looked like a double date. She was out with a group of friends all of whom were there with their partners and there was another guy sitting next to her. What made it hurt even more was that I knew this guy had been interested in her for a while. Whenever I asked about him she always told me they were just friends. Seeing him there with her along with her sister and her sister's boyfriend made it feel like it was probably more than friendship.
That really crushed me.
i know this is a long post but it's basically a summary of the last three months of my life. The last couple of days have been especially hard and I honestly don't know how to move forward.
I ended up blocking her on Instagram which was our last way of communicating since she had already blocked my number and Snapchat. It was really difficult to do but after seeing those photos it felt like the healthiest decision for me.
For those of you who've been through something similar do you think I made the right choice? How did you start moving forward mentally when you still loved someone? Right now I'm just trying to get through each day and I'd really appreciate any advice.is diary. i felt this overwhelming need to know what was really going on. it was supposed to be a prayer journal but i found a page where he wrote about liking this girl and me wondering if he should be with either of us. he also wrote about asking god for strength to stay loyal.
i felt completely shattered. i was so confused because i know how much he loved me. when i told him i had read it and that i couldn’t do this anymore he literally fainted at work while we were on the phone. he had never fainted before. he just collapsed.
later he explained that he was writing down thoughts he was trying to fight that he wasn’t choosing her and that he only wanted to be with me. but i don’t know how to believe that anymore. i don’t think i can stay. the first betrayal broke something in me and this feels like it destroyed whatever was left.
the hardest part is that i still love him so much. i know he loved me. i know because of the way he looked at me the way he cared for me the way he would get emotional talking about losing me. even the morning i found the diary he was crying about how much he loved me and how hard it was to leave for work.
i can’t understand how someone can love me so deeply and still have feelings for someone else. i don’t know if what we had was real anymore. i don’t want to be with him but i also miss him more than i can explain. i miss us. i miss what we were.
i feel completely lost. i know he’s hurting too but i don’t know what to do with all of this pain. should i message him? would i be stupid for going back?

Last updated on:2026-08-07T17:47:11+05:30