My husband of almost seven years (we've been together almost 12 now) let me know a week ago, that he wanted a divorce. This normally loving, caring human being has been so cold and cruel. He says that there is nothing wrong with the relationship, he just needs to "find himself and live a life of his choosing." He appears to be going through avoidant collapse, as he has so much going on right now that he feels responsible for (even though I keep trying to suggest that he set some boundaries and let others deal with it). I am trying to make sense of it, but I don't think I can or will. I just have to accept that his actions show me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore, even if he told our therapist the same week, that he felt lucky that he married his best friend. None of this makes sense and I am feeling so lost. I know that things will get better, but I thought I had married my best friend and my soul mate. I am so crushed right now. I know it will likely never make any sense, especially if this is avoidant collapse. He will have to work through this on his own. Even if he did come back tomorrow l, how could I trust this won't happen again? I just feel so overwhelmed right now.
Last updated on:2026-08-09T10:33:52+05:30
Comments (6)
mine went from my safest person to someone i barely recognized, and i kept searching for the moment everything changed. that confusion hurt almost as much as the breakup. 💔
i remember wanting an explanation so badly that i kept rereading every conversation.
how are you getting through the moments when the shock hits hardest, especially when you remember that he was calling you his best friend just days before?
I am trying to remind myself to focus on his actions and not just his words. It doesn't make it easier, but it helps put into perspective that this isn't how best friends treat each other, no matter what he says.
That and I've been spending a lot more time at the gym...motion is medicine
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I understand you We've been in love for 2.5 years and my boyfriend left me for the same reason a month ago. We work in the same place, I see it all the time and I can never recover. I hope we both get well soon. 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼