hey guys so im a straight forward person i don't have a problem with knowing my worth i have enough self respect to not be okay with anything less than i deserved.
but it happened, i fell for an avoidant.
he like checks in every week, texts saying hello or something and everytime i answer i just feel that I can't put an end to this unless i ask what do you need from me?
why are you still checking in when you said you have no feelings and ended our potential?
should i do it when he texts again?
i just want closure and clarity and sadly another shot for us if he's willing to lock in with a genuine interest.
not a game thing, not manipulation, not pull and push not on and off.
please guys help a girl out i really need the advice.
Last updated on:2026-08-16T02:31:47+05:30
Comments (5)
if he says he has no feelings, what are you hoping he’ll say when you ask what he needs from you?
i don't maybe realize that it's worth it to give us another try
those little weekly check-ins kept me stuck for months because every “hey” made me wonder if maybe there was still something there.
I fell for an avoidant to. we are now not together unfortunately but it wasn’t actually because of the avoidance. it was because I wasn’t there for here during the phase. The main advice I can give is just to wait and don’t be pushy. as crazy as it sounds try no contact. It will hurt but it may thank you in weeks to come. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you a lot of avoidants wants to admit they don’t just so they feel like they have won or is just more important. Give it time, you got this
Hey! I’m new to this, even though I guess this has been happening for a while now.
I do think it’s important for him to understand that he can’t just text you whenever he feels like it, especially just to reassure himself that there might still be an opportunity with you. I know that’s really easy to say, though, and I understand that it’s so much harder to actually do.
I’ve been wanting to do something similar—to finally put an end to a relationship that ended a long time ago but we still somehow keep hurting each other. I’m just really scared of what happens after. I remember how hard it was the last time he wasn’t there, and I remember how much I struggled to resist going back. So, in a way, there’s comfort in knowing that he’s still there, even if I know that probably isn’t healthy for either of us.
And I’m sure he feels the same way about me. Maybe that’s part of why he keeps me around too—because there’s comfort in knowing that the other person is still there and that there’s still a possibility.
From what I understand, it sounds pretty similar to what you’re going through. And honestly, I do recommend putting an end to the uncertainty, even though I know how hard that can be. Personally, though, I’m just not there yet.