I have been debating reaching out to my ex to see if things could still work out. I was completely blindsided with the breakup and for the past week have been getting out of this shock. Everything was normal till that talk but i've been thinking, realizing and accepting. I feel as though because of the shock i felt during the moment though, i wasnt able to fight or properly communicate my feelings and thoughts.
I want to reach out, ask and finally get rid of the questions and things i've wanted to say but also this false hope I have. I feel as though this is stopping me from moving forward. I know it's not the smartest decision but I just want to know if we could both properly communicate, and work things out. We barely talked during the breakup.
I don't think he will want to but, I devoted myself, worked on myself while dealing with bc/hormonal mood swings (been on period for over 6 months), having to stop depression and anxiety meds (I lost insurance; only place i could afford to get them is 1hr 30 mins away, and issues with changing doctors in the last 2 months too) a new cat and job.
I understand that these things may have caused issues but I always communicated my problems and feelings. Always reminding him if there was an issue to talk with me. He never did and I want him to know that if he gives me the chance I'll be there for him. To talk and work the relationship out together. I don't think he knew that.
I spoke to him about issues I had with him too. He stayed at home no job, playing games, and just living off his monthly government money after paying rent. It upset me since I knew he could do more, be better. I also understand that I stopped doing certain things that i enjoyed like skating and kingdom hearts. Which may have made him lose interest, but I stopped because I know how invested I get and I wanted to continue focusing on my job and the next step in my life, junior year college. As well as his.
I want to know from him if he's willing or not to actually make things work out. With no outside opinion. (Ex bsf/friends were involved on his end) I gave him 10 months of my life and love. I risked a lot for him (illegally living with me and scholarship) but I've never felt this before or ever thought of plans for my future like getting married or having kids especially being trans/nonbinary. I want to make things work if possible since I know relationships are 2 ways. I think I just want to know if this is truly the end, instead of having hope and questions. To either move on or be a point of growth for us both.
p.s.
my older friend, (almost 30) would be helping me draft a message and send it. (not going to unblock him)
Last updated on:2026-08-18T22:28:11+05:30
Comments (8)
i once reached out because i needed answers, and honestly, i had to be ready for an answer i didn't want before i hit send. if you do message him, i'd keep it simple and say what you need to say without trying to convince him.
seek that closure if you want to. they will probably reject you but that rejection and hurt is what will help you close that door
Atleast if i'm rejected i tried to reach out, make things work and can better accept that he truly wants to end things.
do you think you're reaching out because you genuinely want to rebuild with him, or because the shock left you needing one last conversation to make the ending feel real?
I think it's both. I genuinely want to and if he is willing to rebuild and work on the relationship together moving forward. But the shock is also leaving me with questions and responses I never got to ask too.
a breakup that gave me zero chance to say what i actually felt. i spent weeks replaying that conversation in my head, wishing i'd had one more chance to say everything.
You can always try, maybe it gives you the answers you are seeking, but also you should prepare yourself for rejection and the closure
thank you for the advice i appreciate it, and plan to have this mindset moving forward