My Girlfriend Left Me Because She Developed Feelings for Another Man
My girlfriend and I had been together for a while and things had been rough at times especially because of the distance. But we worked through those problems and eventually things started feeling good again.
She recently went to another country for a month-long bootcamp. While she was there she made some new friends and one of them was dating a foreign guy who had a group of male friends. My girlfriend started spending time with them and eventually developed feelings for one of those guys.
One morning she called me and told me she had feelings for him. She also brought up some issues we still hadn't completely resolved especially our sex life because she had told me she doesn't really enjoy sex.
She said one of the things she liked about him was that he found certain things she did funny while I didn't always find them funny. She also said that whenever she looked at him she felt happy.
She's coming back in a month but we've obviously broken up now.
I honestly don't know how to process any of this. I keep wondering if it's my fault that she found something in someone else that she couldn't find in me.
Was I lacking something? Could I have done something differently? Or was this simply her choice and something I couldn't control?
Right now my brain keeps going back and forth between blaming myself and blaming her. I don't know how to make sense of it.
Last updated on:2026-08-18T21:04:11+05:30
Comments (4)
i really felt the part about wondering if you were lacking something. when mine happened, i kept making a list of everything i could've done differently, but that only kept me stuck. i had to accept that someone choosing another person doesn't make me less lovable.
there is nothing you could have done to prevent this so please don't blame yourself.
i'd be questioning everything too. do you think you want answers from her because you still hope she'll come back, or because you're trying to understand how someone you loved could suddenly feel that way about someone else?
my ex caught feelings for someone else and i spent months picking myself apart, wondering what he had that i didn't. it took me a while to realize i couldn't compete with a feeling he chose to follow.