my best friend’s bf set me up with his roommate who had just gotten out of a 5-year relationship. we’d been casually texting/calling for about a month and honestly i wasn’t even attracted to him at first or thought he was someone i’d be into. but somehow i definitely caught feelings.
he told me he was into me too but then he saw a picture of his ex with another guy and it completely wrecked him. he ghosted me for 5 days without saying anything and when i finally asked what was going on he told me the truth.
it’s hard for me to even be mad because i guess i knew what i was getting into and at least he was honest with me. he said he can only be friends right now because he still has feelings for his ex even though he’s still very into me.
and now i genuinely don’t know what i’m supposed to do. especially because he lives 6.5 hours away and i’m in grad school.
Last updated on:2026-08-20T17:46:12+05:30
Comments (4)
this really hit me because you said you’re “supposed to” do something, but what do YOU actually want here? if he stayed exactly where he is right now, would being friends genuinely feel okay to you?
i’d probably step back from the friendship for now. i know he was honest eventually, but you’re already attached, and staying close while he hopes for his ex could keep you stuck waiting for someone who isn’t available.
my situation is very similar I broke up w my ex of 2 years due to toxic reasons so I completely lost feelings my friend introduced his friend to me and my friend group he has also recently broken up from a toxic relationship soon we started talking and developed feelings and went out as a group that made it more sure we even started dating suddenly out of nowhere he gets cold and distant saying he isn’t ready for a relationship but still likes me I sometimes feel like maybe he still likes his ex idk if he does I wish he was more direct
i’ve been the person who caught feelings for someone who was still completely tangled up in their ex, and that “i’m into you but i can’t be with you” place hurts like hell.