my boyfriend and I went out together with a few of his friends . One of his friends kissed me. I was heavily under the influence and i did not want him to do that. After it happened i was in tears and properly devastated. I came to my boyfriend with the truth that his friend violated me. He did not believe me. He calls me a cheater now. For me cheating is a mutual decision and it is something devious and meant to stay hidden. But this was one persons decision. I did not kiss him back. I did not initiate any of it. I did not hint towards it either. After my boyfriend broke up with me i was heart broken. I had his friend blocked on everything. This friend fully believed i wanted him. And the things he said to me made me sick to my stomach because i cannot imagine having any other romantic feelings towards anyone else other than my boyfriend. When i told him what he did was wrong and that I did not want him. He told me to off myself.
I’m so mad at everything. I am mad at myself for not being aware. I should’ve seen it coming. I know that this friend would have never tried anything if i wasn’t heavily under the influence because he knows i would’ve went straight to my boyfriend because i am honest and not a cheater. it felt like a bad dream. Genuinely. If i could go back i would tell myself to be aware. I should’ve seen it coming. I should’ve known. But some part of me trusted his friends because they know i was with my boyfriend they knew i loved him. But clearly not. I’m hurt that my boyfriend didn’t protect me. That he didn’t believe me. That he left me when he saw how broken i was. He left me when i needed him most. He says he can’t be with a cheater as much as he loves me and misses me. But im not a cheater, i never wanted that to happen and i came to him because i trusted him. He saw my reaction, he saw the tears. Does any of it seem like i wanted it???
Should i blame myself?
Am i a cheater???
I hate cheating and the idea of it. Irs something i really do not agree on.
But i never wanted that to happen. I never even provoked it. My boyfriend saw i couldn’t control my drinking, why didn’t he stop me? Why didn’t he help me? Why did he leave me alone?
Am i a bad person?
Last updated on:2026-08-22T03:52:27+05:30
Comments (6)
No you are absolutely not a bad person at all and if he doesn't believe you that's on him, not you.
you went to your boyfriend expecting him to believe you, and instead you lost him too. i've had someone blame me for something i never chose, and honestly, i would stop trying to prove your innocence to someone who has already decided what happened.
i've been through the kind of self-blame where your brain keeps replaying the moment and telling you you should've somehow prevented it. you trusted someone, you were heavily under the influence, and you didn't consent to that kiss. none of that makes you a cheater.
if there is anything you should not do is blame yourself. like ever. you are the victim in this situation
if he believed your friend over you, then the best thing you can do to is rid yourself off such people. they say birds of the same feather flock together. if his friend was comfortable doing that to you then you better believe that your boyfriend is no better.
save yourself the tears. They are not worth it
i keep coming back to one thing here because i know i'd be questioning myself too: if your boyfriend saw you crying, knew you were devastated, and heard you say you didn't want it, what makes you believe his version of you over what you were actually telling him?
i’m not sure i’m just idk horrified