I honestly feel like I have nothing left to build on. My girlfriend and I have been together since high school and college. We spent a few years apart then she moved back home and eventually moved in with me. I bought a house and even after almost 10 years together I still feel like I can’t fully understand where I stand with her.
We were young when we fell in love. We smoked weed laughed a lot and were genuinely best friends. Things feel so different now. After a rough year where I struggled with drinking and had shaky employment she moved back in with her parents. They have the nice cars big house and the kind of lifestyle I think she compares our relationship to. They also don’t really want her with me anymore.
Now she wants to go out and enjoy life but at the same time she talks about wanting a boyfriend who already has the house the lifestyle and the future she imagines including marriage and kids. The back-and-forth has been exhausting. Even when I’m doing well I still feel like she wants more. More travel a better house more money something better than what we have.
Part of me feels like she’s going to leave move on and find someone her parents approve of who fits the picture of a perfect life. I worry she’ll eventually realize that having the right house car and lifestyle doesn’t automatically make you happy.
I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if I’m finally seeing things clearly. I know I have things I need to work on especially after the year I had. How do I become a better man and actually repair this relationship? And at what point do I accept that it’s time to let go?
Last updated on:2026-08-21T23:05:12+05:30
Comments (4)
Sounds like she wants someone sober and stable. That’s valid on her end, especially at the age you’re both at
So your thinking is that being with someone who has their life together and who can give her a family is unfulfilling, and that she would be better off with a person who can't hold down a job and has a drinking problem?
She wants someone who has their shit together like a grown woman should.
The problem isn't her, my man, it's you.
So she has to choose whether she prefers her parents' approval and a more comfortable life or a life by the side of the person she is happy with. You can't do anything. If you want, you can wait for her or try to work on yourself, regardless of her attitude towards you. It's her life and only she can decide what is most important in her life and what her priority is. It's possible that one day she will understand that love has greater value than any material thing. But she needs time for that. If you're still unable to be over her. Then wait.