I just got out of my first situationship. Never again. It drained me of all my energy for three months. He made me believe there was a possibility of it turning into a real relationship, only to tell me he had no desire for that once I finally started setting boundaries... I feel dirty and used. So angry at him... and at myself for trying to be patient and understanding while ignoring all the red flags.š
Last updated on:2026-08-24T04:49:58+05:30
Comments (7)
You shouldn't feel bad about yourself, because he's the one who doesn't know what he wants from life. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You haven't lost anything, because he probably didn't bring anything valuable into your life. And he lost someone who would have been able to truly love him
when you started setting boundaries and he suddenly admitted he never wanted a relationship, did he ever clearly tell you what he wanted before that, or did he keep leaving just enough hope for you to stay?
From the very beginning, I asked him if he was open to the possibility of a relationship down the line, and he said yes. A month ago, he was so unavailable that I told him I thought it was better to stop seeing each other because I didnāt want to just be a hookup. He suggested we stay friends and said that once heād moved out (he was living with his ex), we could see where things went between us. But strangely enough, after that conversation, he made sure we could see each other again.
He then moved out, and we saw each other last Tuesday. The next day, I felt like I needed to clarify things, so I asked him where he stood when it came to exclusivity. He told me that if an opportunity came up, he might not say no. I told him that wasnāt something I was okay with, that weād talked about the possibility of a relationship and that I felt like he wasnāt actually looking for that. He admitted that, in fact, he had no desire to build anything with anyone at the moment, and we decided to leave it at that.
Thatās it. He didnāt say anything else. I honestly feel like he just made sure I stayed attached enough to him so he could ātake advantageā of me, even though he knew all along that he didnāt want anything more than a hookup.
i had spent months being patient with someone who was happy taking what i gave while keeping me at armās length, and i felt so stupid afterward. youāre allowed to be angry at him, but please donāt turn that anger on yourself too.
thank you so much for your kind words, it really helps. š„¹ I hope you are recovered from this bad experience š«¶
you'll be fine
yes ! I need some time to let the anger pass and focus on myself. thank you for your reply š«¶