today it’s day 21 of no contact with baby daddy but I felt the urge to know what’s happening, our daughter stays with his mother which makes it 10times harder for me to move on , yesterday I called her nanny and my daughter was sick and I told the nanny to bring her ive to the hospital where I work for treatment previously i would have looked for an opportunity to reach out to her father but am glad this time i dint i just got her treatment and I sent her back home … but I kept asking the nanny wether her father called and today I called his neighbor where we used to stay together as I always do to ask her if his girlfriend comes over and she told me yes today she saw her and my heart skipped , the anxiety kicked in and I wanted to call him, I dialed his number on my work phone and he picked up but am glad sense came back I immediately hang up and I prayed to God not to take me back to the begging and quarrels and constant anxiety I always get wenever I reach out to him I guess the feeling of loneliness is what is drawing me back to the old pattens I pray it passes
Last updated on:2026-08-25T14:16:34+05:30
Comments (7)
Is it any better after 21 days of nc from where you started?
yes it is sometimes the urge kicks in but it’s better
being so tempted to check on my ex through mutual friends because i couldn't handle not knowing, and every little detail i found just opened the wound again. you handled your daughter’s situation without using it as a reason to reach him, and that’s HUGE.
guess I should stop wanting to know what he is upto
i’ve learned the hard way that loneliness can make an old relationship feel safer than it actually was. you already know what happens when you call him, the anxiety, the quarrels, the spiral, so i’d trust the part of you that hung up.
yeah me too
you actually miss him, or do you miss having someone there when the loneliness gets really loud?