a little over 3 months ago i went through a breakup after a 7-year relationship. we were both engaged and planning our wedding. i won’t get into all the details but the breakup was pretty mutual. i had to be the one to finally call it so technically i’m the dumper but she had already told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore after a month of constant fighting. she also refused couples counselling. i still love her and this has hurt more than anything i’ve ever experienced.
i was completely devastated. i wasn’t just grieving her i was grieving the entire future i had pictured with her. i still remember visiting potential wedding venues and imagining her standing there in a white dress. I had all this love for her and suddenly nowhere to put it. Then there was the rejection the guilt of being the one who ended it and the fact that i felt like i had failed us. i was on my knees cried for days lost weight and even threw up a few times from the shock.
but now after 3 months something strange is happening. i’m actually starting to feel a little better. sometimes i laugh really hard with my friends. i enjoy music again. I’ll have these random completely normal moments where i suddenly realize the pain has disappeared. at first they lasted a few seconds then minutes and now sometimes they last for hours.
and honestly that scares me.
i feel almost guilty when i’m happy. a part of me thinks that if i can laugh or enjoy something then maybe the relationship wasn’t as real or important as i thought it was. i wonder if i somehow lied to myself about how much i loved her or if i’m going crazy and not taking the loss seriously enough. sometimes i feel like i should still be suffering because i really loved her.
but i was already completely crushed for months. so why do these little moments of relief make me feel like i’m doing something wrong?
Last updated on:2026-08-27T03:33:12+05:30
Comments (4)
i used to think healing meant caring less, but i learned that the pain fading for a few hours didn’t make my love any less real. you already hurt, cried, lost weight, and carried that loss every day for months, you don’t have to keep suffering to prove you loved her.
that guilt after the first real laugh is so weird. i remember feeling almost disloyal when i started enjoying things again, like i was betraying the person i’d spent years loving. you’re allowed to have a good hour without erasing seven years.
when those happy moments happen, do you feel more guilty because you’re enjoying life again, or because part of you is scared you might actually be moving on?
Just be glad that you are healing. No need feel guilty.