a little over 3 months ago i went through a breakup after a 7-year relationship. we were both engaged and planning our wedding. i won’t get into all the details but the breakup was pretty mutual. i had to be the one to finally call it so technically i’m the dumper but she had already told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore after a month of constant fighting. she also refused couples counselling. i still love her and this has hurt more than anything i’ve ever experienced.
i was completely devastated. i wasn’t just grieving her i was grieving the entire future i had pictured with her. i still remember visiting potential wedding venues and imagining her standing there in a white dress. I had all this love for her and suddenly nowhere to put it. Then there was the rejection the guilt of being the one who ended it and the fact that i felt like i had failed us. i was on my knees cried for days lost weight and even threw up a few times from the shock.
but now after 3 months something strange is happening. i’m actually starting to feel a little better. sometimes i laugh really hard with my friends. i enjoy music again. I’ll have these random completely normal moments where i suddenly realize the pain has disappeared. at first they lasted a few seconds then minutes and now sometimes they last for hours.
and honestly that scares me.
i feel almost guilty when i’m happy. a part of me thinks that if i can laugh or enjoy something then maybe the relationship wasn’t as real or important as i thought it was. i wonder if i somehow lied to myself about how much i loved her or if i’m going crazy and not taking the loss seriously enough. sometimes i feel like i should still be suffering because i really loved her.
but i was already completely crushed for months. so why do these little moments of relief make me feel like i’m doing something wrong?
Last updated on:2026-08-26T16:24:12+05:30
Comments (1)
Just be glad that you are healing. No need feel guilty.