Why can't i stop wanting to text him?

i honestly don’t know. i think it’s a mix of both. when wer ended things he kept saying “maybe our paths cross again” or “maybe in the future. i did end up texting him and we had a nice conversation. i ultimately asked him if he said that because he genuinely sees a possiblity of us being together in the future or if he’s just leaving that possibility open because he cares about me. he said he truly sees a future where we are together but he doesn’t want me to hold onto that because it’s not healthy. he said “i want you, just right now i want to be alone and focus on my responsibilities.” i just don’t know what to do. i want to move on from everything and be strong but i love him so much.

i ended up doing it even though i knew i shouldn’t. he responded and we actually had a really nice conversation. i got the answers that i needed and i feel a lot better about the situation now. i’m sorry for you it didn’t go that way. i hope you’re doing well.

i ended up send it to him and he responded and we actually had a good conversation. i told him that i ultimately just needed him to answer the question of if he actually sees a possibility of us being together again or if he's just leaving that possiblity open because he cares about me. i didn't care about the answer i just want to know the truth. he said that he truly does see a future where we are back together but he doesn't want me to cling onto that the whole time because that's not healthy. he said "i want you, but right now i want to be alone and focus on my responsibilities." i thanked him and told him that's all i needed. he said that from what ive been posting since we've been apart he sees that im slowly becoming more comfortable with being myself and that makes him happy. i told him that i appreciated him saying that and that i wasn't sure what i wanted to do because everyone was telling me to go no contact and move on from everything but i do still truly want him in my life, even if it's not like it was before. but i also don't want to feel guilty for talking to him because everyone's telling me not to. he told me that he would respect my decision either way, and that he doesnt mind as long as he knows i'm doing okay. i told him im going to try to keep going for about a week or so just to see how i feel, because i do know that i need space away from him and that will be good for me. i told him that i had a lot of urges to text him yesterday, but i got through them so i know i can do it. however i did tell him that if i really feel like i need to i will. i told him that i hope he continues to do well and figures everything out for himself. he said he wishes the same for me and to keep loving myself more and more everyday. i know that what he said about seeing a future with me excites me in a way, but im not going to let myself get too excited and cling onto those words because i know that it may not happen. i'm just going to take this time to better myself and if we come back we come back. i think im finally starting to be okay with the possibility that it may not happen. i'm just happy that i got a little bit of clarity over the situation.

that’s everything. i have his location on snap and his find my iphone, and we still have each other on snapchat, instagram, and tiktok

it’s so hard. i can’t just forget