We haven’t been in contact for 3 days.
A short summary:
We fought a lot and our relationship was barely hanging by a thread. He had completely lost hope and I often had to convince him that we could make it work, while also making it clear that it wouldn’t be easy because we would both have to work on ourselves at the same time. I was always able to convince him, whenever we had conversations like that. Looking back, I probably should have left a long time ago, but I still had so much hope.
So, three days ago, he broke up with me during an argument, after it had already been becoming increasingly obvious for about a week, that this was where things were heading. It was a huge emotional scene and eventually we just stood there crying and hugging each other.
The next day, he texted me about how much it was hurting him and how much he missed me and that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way. That confused and hurt me, because even after the breakup he kept reaching out to me, but then he stopped replying to my last message and left me hanging. In the end, I wished him all the best and after his reply, we didn’t speak anymore.
Then today, out of nowhere, he texted me:
"Hey..... I don't know either... you were definitely right that it's either forever or the worst heartbreak you can experience. Whenever I can't distract myself, all I feel like is crying, because it hurts so much and because I miss you so much and I miss hugging you so much. It really hurts unbelievably badly. I don't know, I just wanted to write this to you, because maybe you feel the same way and maybe knowing this can make you feel like you're not alone in this...."
I don't know what to do. I don't want to make myself vulnerable. I don't want to feel sorry for him. I don't want to reply to him, but at the same time, I do want to reply. I don't want to ignore him because that feels hurtful, but at the same time, maybe it doesn't have to matter to me anymore. Does he know,das 86that I would never ignore him and is he taking advantage of that? Is this message actually just a way for him to hear that I'm still hurting too, so that he can feel a little better about himself?
Last updated on:2026-09-17T10:05:17+05:30
Comments (8)
I went through the same thing. I think if it had only been for 3 days, you're more than welcome to reply because he truly misses you.
here's where things become complicated: If he's on and off with texting you, he merely sees you as entertainment. Where I live, theres a saying, "If your dog isn't barking, it's getting fed elsewhere"
It means if he doesn't complain, he's getting attention from another girl. when you try to leave, he'll beg for you back.
right now, since it's only been 3 days. text him.
but if he starts going on and off, block him. Even worse: Don't text him if he doesn't contact you for a couple of months.
this message sounds like he misses you deeply, but do you feel like he's reaching out because he wants to rebuild something, or because he can't bear the breakup without knowing you're hurting too?
He is not changing his mind. And of course that is what I'm hoping tho if he texts me.. And thats exactly the point thats hurting so much.
I dont think he really wanted to comfort me. I mean what exactly should be comforting? It does not take any pain away just because hes sad too. Idc if hes sad or hates me, it does not make any change.
I think he only wanted to hear that I also miss him, that I'm also hurting and he maybe wanted to see if the message even comes thru or if I blocked him, because he texted me like 15min after I deleted him on Instagram and Steam. (I dont know if he saw that tho.)
Or maybe he texted me to feel better because he felt bad for my pain he had caused, so that he can get over it better.
i've learned that you don't owe someone an immediate reply just because they're hurting too. i started giving myself a full day before responding, and sometimes the kindest thing for me was saying nothing at all.
Thank you, youre right. I holded on for nearly the whole day.. now i did reply but I told him shortly that knowing his own decision is hurting him doesn't make me feel any better
don't Say anything,leave him on read
I wish it would be that easy T_T
my ex used to reach out whenever the silence got too heavy, and i'd answer because i couldn't stand the thought of hurting him, then i'd be the one hurting all over again.