We haven’t been in contact for 3 days.
A short summary:
We fought a lot and our relationship was barely hanging by a thread. He had completely lost hope and I often had to convince him that we could make it work, while also making it clear that it wouldn’t be easy because we would both have to work on ourselves at the same time. I was always able to convince him, whenever we had conversations like that. Looking back, I probably should have left a long time ago, but I still had so much hope.
So, three days ago, he broke up with me during an argument, after it had already been becoming increasingly obvious for about a week, that this was where things were heading. It was a huge emotional scene and eventually we just stood there crying and hugging each other.
The next day, he texted me about how much it was hurting him and how much he missed me and that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way. That confused and hurt me, because even after the breakup he kept reaching out to me, but then he stopped replying to my last message and left me hanging. In the end, I wished him all the best and after his reply, we didn’t speak anymore.
Then today, out of nowhere, he texted me:
"Hey..... I don't know either... you were definitely right that it's either forever or the worst heartbreak you can experience. Whenever I can't distract myself, all I feel like is crying, because it hurts so much and because I miss you so much and I miss hugging you so much. It really hurts unbelievably badly. I don't know, I just wanted to write this to you, because maybe you feel the same way and maybe knowing this can make you feel like you're not alone in this...."
I don't know what to do. I don't want to make myself vulnerable. I don't want to feel sorry for him. I don't want to reply to him, but at the same time, I do want to reply. I don't want to ignore him because that feels hurtful, but at the same time, maybe it doesn't have to matter to me anymore. Does he know,das 86that I would never ignore him and is he taking advantage of that? Is this message actually just a way for him to hear that I'm still hurting too, so that he can feel a little better about himself?
Last updated on:2026-08-31T17:51:12+05:30
Comments (3)
i've learned that you don't owe someone an immediate reply just because they're hurting too. i started giving myself a full day before responding, and sometimes the kindest thing for me was saying nothing at all.
don't Say anything,leave him on read
my ex used to reach out whenever the silence got too heavy, and i'd answer because i couldn't stand the thought of hurting him, then i'd be the one hurting all over again.