today marks 92 days of NC with my fearful avoidant … it’s the longest we’ve gone No contact … his birthday is in October meaning it would be close to 4 months no contact. my question is should I break no contact and wish him a happy birthday ? last time he had broken no contact one day after my birthday to wish me a happy birthday but the last argument we had was pretty bad and he said hurtful things so I want to stick it out this time but …. yeah don’t know what to do help !
Last updated on:2026-09-05T01:38:41+05:30
Comments (16)
if he hadn't broken NC after your birthday, would you still want to wish him happy birthday, or does knowing he did that for you make you feel like you owe him the same?
definitely the second reason
staying quiet worked better for me
really ? how so ?
counting the days of NC and then finding some tiny reason to break it, only to spend the next week staring at my phone. 4 months is a long time, and i wouldn't throw that away for a birthday text when the last conversation hurt that badly.
thank you for that ❤️
I congratulated my ex yesterday. We haven’t been in no contact for long yet tho. But my reasons were, on the one hand, that I couldn’t identify with being so mean as to not congratulate him even tho I know it’s his birthday and he knows that I know it. And on the other hand, I knew I would spend the entire day suffering and wondering whether or not I should still text him. So I prepared a message the day before and congratulated him first thing in the morning on his birthday. He thanked me and I didn’t reply to that. That was it. I didn’t expect anything more from the beginning, but I have to be honest, it still hurt a little. Luckily, I had already planned to keep myself well distracted that day. Maybe just think about what is the best for YOU in this situation.
hi , thank you for sharing - so that was it ? you guys went back to NC after that ?
The choice is yours, but I believe the ultimate power is by saying nothing at all. Let him truly feel the loss especially if he was hurtful last time. Stick to nc and leave him in the past
I believe that as well… but it’s so hard, sticking to NC is one thing - shaking off the feeling that I might never hear from him again is another …
@Paris75 you've done so well making it this far in nc, I understand the fear of not hearing from them again, but do you truly want to disrupt your peace by contacting him again and potentially being hurt again. Theres a reason you are in no contact. Its a risk, but its your choice to make and we will all be here for you regardless of what you choose
@DreamyWay697 thank you so much
I really don’t think you should especially if you haven’t moved on. if he starts to talk to you, you’ll fall back and entertain it
I would totally fall back you’re right about that…
@Paris75 I think you shouldn't neither
i think you should cuz at the end of the day we are human and everybody makes mistakes but that doesnt mean they dont deserve just a simple "happy birthday" text so yeah in my opinion you should celebrate it and i think thats not counts as breaking nc its just wishing someone happiness