so my ex got back in contact in Aug 18th after silence, which I was surprised, we were together four years long distance. His mum was a big factor and while he had no job no no home or money, she threatened to kick him out and not help him if he kept in contact with me, she even resulted to sending me messages and putting pressure on me to stop contact. He moved out and moved to La, July. Our conversation started out slowly he spoke to me and wanted to discuss what happened, I tried but I found it emotionally painful. I said I can’t have this conversation with him because I processed and I just did not want to put myself emotionally there, which he understood and was very respectful. we have been texting talking everyday and he’s been ringing me and we’ve been talking for hours on weekends. it’s nice. He has asked me to come stay at his place in La originally I was not sure, he’s been great not to put pressure on me and is letting me decide which I respect. i have noticed he’s better at his communication with me, he’s letting me know if he can’t message me and is very attentive to me and I am as well.
we are not back together yet as we both agreed to take things slow see how things go see how we are together. We both need to build trust with each other and we have both discussed this and have agreed it’s going to take a while and if we are going to try again we need to do it in a form of a new relationship not bring in the old issues.
He has set strict boundaries with his mum and has admitted she is controlling. she has been told by him not to contact me. Right now we have not told our families about us talking and going to visit each other. We are trying to work us out first and build a solid foundation again. I am very excited and nervous and cautious. But it’s nice to at least have my best friend back
Last updated on:2026-09-07T01:34:11+05:30
Comments (4)
i really like that you’re both taking this slowly and talking about trust instead of pretending the old problems disappeared. when i got a second chance with my ex, giving it time instead of rushing to call it a relationship helped me see whether the changes were actually lasting.
i'd be nervous too, especially after everything that happened with his mum. do you feel like you can actually relax around him again, or are you still waiting for something to go wrong?
that feeling of getting your best friend back after thinking you'd lost them for good is such a strange mix of happiness and fear. i remember being excited about a second chance while quietly wondering if i was setting myself up to get hurt again.
you need to set a date though getting back together if that’s what you want. if not he’s probably just going back to you because he knows you’ll be there for him. unfortunately I learned that from my ex. we were “working on ourselves to get back together” for a whole year and then he still told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship but he’s over here flirting with other girls ….