normally i text these paragraphs to him. i used to wake him up with long paragraphs about how i much i miss him how much i love him and how i adore him. and today i have a really big impulse to do it.so as i cant do it and break no contact i just have to right it down here. because i missed him so much and two days ago i saw a dream. he was texting me "oh i hate you. i wish we never met. fuck you. all we did was a ridiculous deception. i hope you wont be happy in your life. i hope you cant find someone and i dont ever wanna see your face again." i was devastated because ive never saw this kind of dreams after we break up this was my first time and after this dream in this two days ive never seen him in my dreams again. the realm of dreams was the only place i saw him and i really miss him so here is the paragraph
I miss our dates. I miss walking home together in the dark after a date and having you just stand in the park, watching me go inside of the house. I miss you blowing me a kiss after the date. I miss that huge smile on your face—I miss your bunny teeth so much. I miss your excitement and hand gestures when you were telling me something. I miss the way your eyes would soften when you looked at me because you needed something. I miss sitting quietly, kissing, hugging, and resting my head on your shoulder in the park where we fell in love. I miss your scent so much; you know, your scent rubbed off on me during our last meeting, and I still smell it every day because I love it so much. I miss playing with your hair when you rested your head on my chest. I miss the dates where we ate to our heart's content. I miss the way you looked at me. I miss your steps quickening when you saw me. I miss your playful, childlike side. I miss how happy you got and how fast you ate when having your favorite desserts. I miss holding your hands and hugging your strong arms. I miss the random nerdy facts you’d blurt out. I miss your sense of humor—like that of a ten-year-old kid. I miss the shirts you wore—especially the burgundy one; they all looked great on you, but that one made me fall even more in love with you. I miss the dreams we built together. Do you remember the names we picked out for our future daughter and son? I miss the exciting, once-in-a-lifetime stories you used to tell me. I miss your mom; I wish we could have met up with her more often and had a stronger bond. I miss how you’d jokingly roughhouse with your brother whenever we were on a call.I miss the way you would pull me closer by holding my waist tighter—in those moments when you tried not to show you were jealous while I was talking to another guy for directions. I miss the taste of your lips. I miss resting our shoes on top of each other’s in those moments when we couldn't hold hands, hug, or kiss. I miss sitting and lying on the sofas at IKEA for hours. I miss you picking me up and suddenly running with me. I miss the earrings you wore. I miss the way you looked at everything with a kind of absurd logic. I miss your body. I miss looking into your beautiful eyes.I miss the way we used to joke around with each other. I even miss how you’d go quiet—completely withdrawing into yourself—when you were sad. I miss your funny dirty talk. I miss you making up excuses just to see me. I really miss you texting and calling me when you were drunk—and not remembering most of what you said the next morning. I miss our chemistry. I miss lying in your lap. My sweet little baby. My one and only love. My pretty boy. I miss everything about you so much.With your whole being, you are my everything.
Last updated on:2026-09-07T00:13:47+05:30
Comments (10)
this hurt to read because i remember missing the tiny things most, the stupid jokes, the way he looked at me, little routines nobody else would understand. writing it down helped me get through the urge without breaking no contact, even when every part of me wanted to reach out.
same here i miss everything onur our relationship and him
I relate to this so completely. it’s so fucking hard to stop thinking about things. I miss everything about my sweet boy but what I miss the most is when he acted like my boy, in our last argument I saw a different side to him that I’d seen before but just ignored. I couldn’t ignore it anymore
oh my god i feel the same way i was blinded by love. i was so in love with him that i cant even accept the fact that he turned someone else at our last argument
@CozySoul437 literally me too. I feel so bad for going NC knowing he’s struggling and hurting and reaching out to me. but I know I deserve better than what he’s giving me and the promises he’s making don’t hold weight since he’s made them before and there were no changes. it’s so hard to turn a blind eye to someone I genuinely still care so deeply for
@CozyLife217 i made mistakes in the relationship and he didnt believe that i am changing. for the better. and when we argue for the last time i saw his real face and i felt really terrible i miss my baby boy he was my everything and i am nothing rn
i feel how much you still love him in every line. when you woke up from that dream, did it make you miss him more because it felt like even your dreams were taking him away from you?
of course yeahh when i woke up from that shitty dream i felt like someone ripped out my heart and crush it with their own hands and i want to see my little baby again
i used to write these huge messages to my ex and then stare at my phone knowing i couldn't send them, so i started writing them in my notes instead. that ache of having a whole conversation trapped inside you is brutal.
yeah i cant enter my notes app because there is so much heartbreaking notes from relationship yk i am just kind of scared to write it there and i would rather write it here because i used to right him these texts for a good get up and express my feelings towards him