My first boyfriend of nearly four years recently broke up with me after we transitioned to long distance. Despite spending a month reassuring me that we would make it work he ended things just two weeks in due to the 9.5-hour time difference and the lack of a definite end date. What makes it harder is that I move for university in two weeks which would have reduced the time difference to 5 hours.
This is the second time he has ended our relationship during a challenging period. When I reached out on our monthly anniversary asking to give it another shot he coldly shut it down ("respectfully i dont think it’ll work out sorry") yet later sent me a video of himself drunk while emotionally leaning on a mutual friend instead of me. I was the only one checking in on him making me feel completely disposable.
Now he seems like a stranger compared to the affectionate person I knew for years. I unfollowed his private social media but we are still maintaining a Snapchat streak which keeps me attached and confused.
It hurts knowing he still loves me but simply doesn't want to fight through the hard times.
How do you move on from a first love who walked away when things got difficult?
Should I cut off the Snapchat streaks completely?What steps should I take to stop waiting for him to change his mind?
Last updated on:2026-09-18T05:44:11+05:30
Comments (6)
i kept a tiny connection with my ex because it felt better than losing them completely, but it kept me checking my phone and waiting for every little sign, and i never really got to move forward.
i keep thinking about how he still loves you but says he doesn’t want to fight through the hard parts, do you think keeping that streak is giving you hope that he might change his mind?
i’m currently also going through a breakup where someone blindsided me after 4 years. also long distance and also not the first time he’s done this. even though it hurts, i think you should cut off all contact. he wanted it to end, so let it end completely. he doesn’t deserve any of your attention right now, and you deserve to heal. you should look into avoidant discards, watching those video’s helped me understand their behavior a bit more. they run away when things get hard, and that is just not safe for us and our hearts…
I too was in long distance. its super hard. I think the break up is worse in a long distance relationship too.
i’ve been there with a first love where i kept thinking, surely they’ll come back once things calm down. the hardest part was realizing i was waiting for a version of them who had already chosen to leave.
First love can be incredibly difficult to let go of, especially after so many years. But sometimes moving on means accepting that someone chose not to continue, even if there are still feelings. I think taking a real break from Snapchat and social media could help you stop waiting for him to change his mind. Give yourself time to heal, focus on university and on the life you’re building for yourself.