I have never been hurt this badly by someone, especially by the one person I never thought would ever do this to me. We’ve known each other for so long, and somehow we always found our way back to each other. I created this picture in my head of who I wanted him to be, and I idolised someone who was never actually that person
He justified cheating by saying he’s a man and he doesn’t know why he can’t control himself, yet somehow I was always expected to control myself. He didn’t trust me, went through my phone, controlled me, and slowly took away my confidence, my personality, my friends and eventually my whole life. I lost myself trying to keep someone who was never willing to treat me the way I deserved
I became so insecure that I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. I accepted things I never should have accepted because I loved him and because, deep down, I was terrified of losing him and being alone. I convinced myself that maybe I would never be enough, when the truth is I was destroying myself trying to be enough for someone who kept choosing to hurt me
And then he cheated with someone I considered a friend, and somehow I’m still the one who can’t catch a break. They both keep messaging me, people keep coming to me with things, and I genuinely don’t know how much more I can take. I’m barely eating, I can’t sleep, and I feel like I’m losing myself all over again
I just want the pain to stop. I want one moment where my mind is quiet and I don’t feel like I’m carrying all of this at once. I don’t want to feel this anymore
Last updated on:2026-09-25T06:43:48+05:30
Comments (6)
are you able to block their numbers right now so they stop popping up on your screen and popping up in your head?
I have them both blocked on everything, but for some reason they both keep making new accounts to stalk me. And honestly that’s part of what’s making it so hard to heal. He knows that if we stay in contact I’ll probably take him back because that’s how much control he still has over me, so he’s been messaging me crying, liking all my stuff and saying all these nice things, and it makes it so hard to ignore everything that happened and remember that he cheated on me so many times and that I don’t deserve that. And now she’s trying to be my friend again because she says it was a mistake and that he initiated it, so I should forgive her because she didn’t want to do it. But she still did it, and I’m honestly just so frustrated because I don’t understand how they can still keep doing this to me. I’m trying so hard to heal and move on, but it feels like they won’t let me
reading this made my heart physically ache for you. i spent two years shrinking myself for a guy who cheated and controlled everything i did, and by the end i was a shell of a person who didn't even recognize my own face in the mirror. please be so gentle with yourself right now, because carrying all that betrayal while barely eating is exhausting.
thank you so much 🥹 I really am trying to be gentle with myself and do things for me. I want to be my own person again and finally do all the things I never got to try but always wanted to because he held me back from so much. I just want to find myself again and figure out who I am outside of him
it’s just so hard because he won’t let me go and the worst part is I’m still so in love with that man even after everything he did and all the messed up things that happened. my friends have called me dumb for taking him back after he cheated, but not many people understand how hard it is to let go of someone you genuinely love. I know I’m strong and I know I’ll be okay eventually, but damn am I fighting for my life right now 😭
can I help you ??
yes please❤️