I'm 21 yo male, almost 22. I had this beautiful girl in my work we had a spark between us and we talked about it. she was a shift manager, while I was a regular worker. That's why she didn't want to proceed, although I really wanted it. We once met and I wanted to end the connection between us since it is much harder to stay in that zone. we kissed, she said she wanted it again. a week after, wanting to kiss her, she told me she felt assaulted. we argued a lot, she said she started to smoke and drink alcohol to cope. I fucking got a manager job just so we will be able to be together, she didn't try to proceed and I needed to ask her again and again and argue with her. there were some weeks she wouldn't even talk to me because she was sick. I was really mad at her and didn't hold my words back, not too much. She somehow talked to her therapist and "agreed" to a date, the night before I was so devastated, thought about it, and canceled it. the story is long, but tomorrow night I called her and sent messages and she didn't answer, and so go on the story, close, far, close far, I even lost my virginity to her. fast foward tried yesterday, the 20ish time to tell her I can't suffer all of this and wished her best of luck, because sometimes she wouldn't even message me back when I sent a message. hope this time I could get over her, as fast as possible. I feel such a loser I couldn't end it past times, there were so many, but everytime I saw her, I couldn't , she is really my type, and beautiful, I guess it is a factor too. wish me luck u guys
Last updated on:2026-09-24T05:03:11+05:30
Comments (3)
i imagine that must have been painful and confusing for you too. are you able to step back from trying to get her to choose you and give yourself some real distance, especially since you’ve said you feel depressed?
i had to accept that wanting someone badly doesn’t make the connection workable, especially when they’re pulling away or saying they feel uncomfortable.
i’ve been stuck in that close-far cycle too, where every little bit of warmth made me hope again and every silence hurt twice as much. losing my virginity to someone made it even harder for me to let go because i attached so much meaning to the whole thing.