i wished him on his bday today at 12am and he texted back saying "thanks so much Fiii( pet name), means a lot🫶🫶"' ...
hes still genuinely sweet to me
and this wasnt like a normal breakup.. ive had breakups in the past and i usually move on within a week.. but something's different in this one bcus he left me when he started getting deeply attached ( around 5th month)... like usually he doesnt do so much romance but on the last few days when we hung out he kissed my forehead , bought me gifts and souvenirs from another city and cuddled in a way he had never done before... i dont get it. its driving me crazy!
but told me about his fear of commitment and getting hurt in the end and said he cant continue this and he said he had to stop it before he got attached and went mental lol.. he said its not just with me he feels this about everyone
i didnt know about avoidants until my therapist told me bout it
he broke up w his ex cus of intercaste differences...and she got engaged 2 months after their breakup and he said its left some trauma even tho he doesnt have any feelings for her remaining .. they broke up only cus of tiny intercaste differences which her family wasnt ok with... while he and i are from completely different religion so maybe that fear also slightly added up cus his parents are kind of chill but he knows mine arent....
he didnt tell me all this until i begged him for the truth 1 month back and told him to tell me whether he lost interest cus id be fine if he did i just had to know the truth to move on.. he said he never lost interest and theres no one else either..its just the fear is rooted so deep and he started to feel suffocated when i give him affection)
he reposts and likes sad romantic reels like he really craves love but just cant accept it... ik i shouldnt read into it too much but its reels about hurting people close to him(which i feel are about me) and about never having love from now onward... and reels like movie scenes where they say that sometimes we find the forever deep type of love in someone who we've known for only a short time after being with a person who couldnt love us much despite being together for a long time..not tryna be funny but he was w me for 5 months and w his ex for 2 years. his friends have told me that his ex was a lil toxic but idk if thats true or just rumors...he has also told me in the past once that no one's done things for him the way i have ( example.. cooking for him) and been there for him....
please tell me what yall think.. i always thought this avoidant stuff is just some nonsense and myth and not real or traumatic but its there in psychology too...
ik i cant love him and change him but.. atleast ill know i gave it my all
Last updated on:2026-09-29T03:51:11+05:30
Comments (5)
i had to stop treating their sweet replies and social media posts like hidden messages meant for me. whatever he feels, he still chose to end the relationship, and i learned the hard way that loving someone deeply can’t make them ready to receive that love.
i’ve been in that kind of breakup where every little thing they said or reposted felt like a clue i had to decode. i kept convincing myself that if i could just understand why she pulled away, the whole relationship would finally make sense.
ikr this feels like some puzzle to solve.. if if it was something like cheating/ losing interest i wouldve left him myself but here i know he likes me clearly and is just scared and going thru some personal difficulties... its all just heart wrenching idk what to do
you put all the reels and little signs aside, what did he actually say he wanted from you now?
nothing