In September I bonded with a lab partner over our shared schedule commute and interests. After months of helping her with schoolwork and growing close I asked her out post-finals in April. She declined and we initially agreed to stay normal.
The next day she texted saying she no longer felt comfortable around me and ended the friendship. In a panic I spam-texted her begging for a chance to fix things which led to her saying "actions have consequences" and blocking me everywhere.
It's been five months and I am consumed by guilt. Knowing she had a controlling ex of my same race I constantly fear that my confessing during finals week and my desperate reaction afterward re-traumatized her. I miss her avoid her on campus and can't forgive myself for causing her stress. How do I move on from this guilt?
Last updated on:2026-10-02T06:00:12+05:30
Comments (4)
how much of this guilt is about what actually happened between you two, and how much is your mind filling in what you imagine she experienced?
replaying one bad reaction over and over until it started feeling like proof that i was a terrible person. i can hear how much you regret spamming her, and five months later you’re still carrying all that shame around with you.
she’s fine, just respect her space because trust me words and actions won’t change her mind
True and he must stop beating himself up some things are not your fault . You asked her out/expressed how you feel and she rejected you . There's nothing wrong there, you are not responsible for her reaction and if you triggered her that much considering the ex boyfriend story I don't think she would be friends with you in the first place so relax, heal and move on