My best friend and I have known each other since high school when we were freshmen. you've had a very fun and lively friendship, overtime I started developing feelings for her. In 2024 after I graduated and moved I decided to tell her how I felt and we started dating. it was fun and exciting for the first month or so, however afterwards she started growing distant. I noticed she wasn't really talking to me as much and when I made plans she would always cancel or make it an excuse to not go. I tried being understanding and at first it wasn't really a big deal. but eventually I noticed a pattern in that she would only want to talk to me over the phone and never meet up. it all came to a head when one time I had asked her to come over and she never showed up. I admittedly made a mistake of sending long essay texts to try to get her to answer. eventually I got her on the phone and asked her if she wanted to even be in this relationship anymore. she said she didn't know. we met up at a park where we both agreed to put our relationship on the back burner and do some work ourselves. we weren't officially dating anymore but we weren't looking either. I walked out of there expecting nothing much and to not feel too much expectation in my head. a year goes by and I eventually work up the courage to ask her how she feels about me. she tells me she can't see me in that way. she tried her best to comfort me in every way she could. after I short break everything resumes as normal we talk about things we like like we are friends again and we go out and hang out once in awhile. however last month during one of our Hangouts she told me she found somebody on tinder. I really didn't know what to think we weren't together and she expressed no interest in getting back together however. I don't want it to sound like I want to grasp that straws she tells me she has conflicted feelings and that she may see a future with me. however I'm not banking on that maybe. after that she pulled away again. I don't know how to feel about this whole thing and I would really like some advice.
Last updated on:2026-10-05T22:49:11+05:30
Comments (5)
honestly, i had to stop treating “maybe someday” like something i could build my life around. i stayed friends with my ex for a while, but every mixed signal kept reopening the same wound, so i needed some real distance.
loving someone who kept giving me just enough hope to stay emotionally attached. the hardest part was watching them pull away while i was still trying to understand what we even were.
it is definitely avoiding attachment, for the longest time I had no idea why this person that I cared so much about pulled away at a such important time in our relationship, leaving me to do so much of the work.
i can see why you’re conflicted, especially after she said she may see a future with you. do you think being close friends with her actually feels good right now, or are you quietly waiting for that future she mentioned?
after everything we've been through I still want to have some kind of relationship with her, we aren't talking right now when we won't be for a pretty long while. I'm still anxious she'll forget about me.