I recently ended an on-and-off three-year relationship with my boyfriend and the heartbreak has triggered a severe mental health crisis. Our history has been chaotic: we first split in 2024 over my severe relationship anxiety broke up a second time in 2025 after he cheated by sending nudes to another guy and got back together on the strict condition that he attend therapy to rebuild trust.
During our final stretch together I impulsively stole money from his sister's jar out of a reckless urge. I confessed repaid the money and apologized and we agreed to work through it. However I just discovered he secretly quit therapy a while ago. When I confronted him about how unsafe I felt rebuilding trust without him getting help he abruptly ended things stating it wasn't good for either of our mental health.
Having BPD makes this intense grief feel overwhelming. I am completely shattered feeling utterly hopeless and struggling with dark thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore. How do you find the strength to survive this kind of pain?
Last updated on:2026-10-06T07:03:11+05:30
Comments (3)
god, i’ve been in that place where a breakup stopped feeling like heartbreak and started feeling like i couldn’t survive the next hour. i remember being terrified of my own thoughts, and i really hope you’re telling someone you trust how dark this has gotten, not carrying it alone.
i’ve had a breakup knock me into a really dangerous headspace too.
when the dark thoughts hit hardest, are you alone with them right now, or is there someone you can call and have stay with you