back in May she told me she doesn't see a relationship with me after a year of us not being together and still wants to be friends. a few months pass and she tells me she made a tender account and found someone that up to that point she had been dating for a month, and that I'm the only one that knows. not even her friends or her family do. how she talked about her new relationship made me super confused. I'm going to preference by saying that it's entirely possible that she isn't telling me everything and that's understandable. the things she has told me about her new relationship is that he has been through a lot of hard things in his life, and how much he doesn't respond to texts when she messages him. and how she hasn't actually labeled their relationship and never called him her boyfriend. but even so she talks about wanting to work through it and wanting to be mature and to be there for him whenever he needs her. it hurt because I'm watching somebody I love dearly give that care to someone else that she just met compared to the years we've known each other. I ask questions, not to probe but to just know more about this person. I asked what are his hobbies or interests and she said "that would be a good thing to ask." what? aren't you guys together? didn't you tell me you've already kissed him? I try not to question it too much they are just getting to know each other so of course they're not going to know everything about one another. I tried to tell myself it's not about me. I just I want to respect what they have and I care for both of them. I don't want her new relationship to fail and I want to support her. it just really hurts seeing her with someone else and maybe this is where all the overthinking comes from. but in my head I don't see this person as a person but just as a concept because that's all I'm really given, matter how hard I try. does that make me heartless? am I really getting replaced by a concept?
Last updated on:2026-10-06T21:55:30+05:30
Comments (5)
you are owed an explanation... you are owed because it ended a long relationship of yours... ofc youre not owed details about the new person like their hobbies n all.. just closure...but i find it weird when they are telling about their current partner to their ex.. like why? like i feel like theyre just tryna show off... even my guy ( now ex) did it and told about me to his ex but rn im wondering was he just showing me off to her to let her know he moved on bcus he still somewhat misses her cus she moved on first and was just jealous...¿.. idk man
remember watching someone i loved pour all that care into somebody new and filling in the blanks about them in my head, because i barely knew who this person even was. it made me feel like i was being replaced by a version of someone i couldn't even see.
i don't think you're heartless at all. honestly, what helped me was stopping myself from trying to understand their relationship in detail, because every new detail just gave my brain something else to obsess over.
i can see why you call him a concept when she hasn't really given you much to go on. do you think you're trying to understand him because you genuinely want to support her, or because some part of you is still looking for an explanation for why she chose him?
I'm trying not to make this solely about myself and an explanation that I'm not owed, it's just really hard to not think about it well you're still hurting. a part of me just worries about how she may be approaching this current relationship but I know I can't do anything about that.