Last night I ran into my ex at a bar and felt so physically sick that I had to leave after five minutes. Even though she was just with friends and I didn't see her with anyone my brain immediately started obsessing over painful "what-if" scenarios like imagining her going home with someone else.
It ruined my night—I ended up going straight home to drink alone. I hate that a five-minute glimpse of her still has this much control over my emotions and I refuse to live in fear of avoiding places just because she might show up.
I know I need to move on but I can't stop the spiral. For anyone who's been here how long did it take for seeing your ex to stop hurting and how do you quiet the obsession over them being with someone new?
Last updated on:2026-10-09T06:30:50+05:30
Comments (10)
For the time being avoid.places she might go to. After you feel more confident that you got over her, you don't have to worry about bumping into her.
Same here fresh wound atm myself got pushed away before she could let me fully in it hurts a lot I’ve spent past three days crying not in binging Harry Potter
u think what if cuz u still not accept break up wan closure. I think better u think if she miss wan u she talk or text call if no she move on
Currently going through a rough breakup too man, and to be honest I think the way to get over it the “quickest” is just to let it happen. Let your brain go there over n over again, don’t avoid places just for her and don’t run from it.
i think by accepting it and already start to imagine them with someone else so if you find out they are with new people you won't be shocked and hurt so much.
did that work?
@ChillVibe172 yeah for me at least
I felt this too, but I already know she’s with someone else, and that hurt. But I saw her driving one day, and we made eye contact, and my stomach dropped to the floor :( My heart was beating so fast it was noticeable.
There’s no timeline. It sucks. But someday you’re gonna wake up and it’s just not gonna bother you
I'm in the same boat as you friend. Fortunately I don't see my ex a lot but we're still in the process of selling our place together so there's contact about that every so often. The spiralling thoughts feel very difficult to overcome don't they