I was watching "Not A Stranger" series on Netflix and it triggered me badly. The husband didn't even refer to the woman as his ex-girlfriend to his wife while the woman absolutely thought their relationship was much deeper.
It messed me up badly. It turns out the woman was pregnant with his child but lost it. Triggering. The way the husband loves his wife and how he wanted nothing to do with the woman was painful to watch.
The immense difference between the way he viewed the relationship and she did is amazing. For months he slept with her, talked to her, spent time with her, all the while he knew he didn't want to be with her then later on met his wife and had a baby with his wife like the woman meant nothing.
The guy I liked is the same. He made it seem like we were in a relationship all while he kept me isolated and a secret. He is good at that. At one point I overheard him refer to me as a woman he was helping move like he was being kind to help me move.
In reality, he convinced me break my lease, move from my beach house, so he and I could rent a house together, then he backee out of it and left me with the 12 month lease to a whole house. He does not want me, yet he loved to give me hope, threaten to leave if I did not behave to his liking, then he would leave and ignore me with no remorse whatsoever.
I would get so upset that I would harass his phone number hoping he would change his number. It did not work. 6 years later, and I have for way better, I use to harass him out of hurt and anger until he saw me again, gave me hope, used me, then dumped me while he claimed it was all my fault why it never worked out between us.
I go on no contact for months. I avoid seeing him physically for years. I moved away. I got on birth control to make sure I did not end up pregnant despite loving him immensely and I would have loved a family with him, but I did not feel like he would do a good job with me as the mother of his child. I think deep down I knew he did not like me.
I struggle often, however, because I am in love with him and I find it difficult to stop craving the intimacy. He did want a so-called relationship with me back in 2024 and 2025, but I told him no and he would block me. I want to be with him, badly, but he will not introduce me to anyone he knows and he does not care to know anyone I know, so no matter how much he says he wants more than talking and hooking up, without integrating our lives I just think he is full of BS.
That being said I miss the intimacy. Badly. I cannot feel nor do I want anyone else. Only him. I have tried and forced myself to be with others, to date, then I force myself to not date and not be with others, no matter what, it remains him that I love and want despite the obvious fact that he obviously does not like me at all.
I met him February 2020 and I haven't met a single person he knows. He's never met anyone I know. In February 2025, he had the audacity to tell me to be patient when it came to being in a relationship with him. I badly, desperately want to feel safe intimately with someone else, but no one comes close.
It is like he worked hard to make sure no one could ever compete or compare. It feels intentional. I feel like he did this to me on purpose.
Last updated on:2026-10-10T05:02:12+05:30
Comments (3)
that series hitting the exact wound you’ve been carrying for years sounds so painful. i spent years with someone who kept me a secret too, and i swear the hardest part was realizing how much of a future i’d pictured with someone who never made room for me in his real life.
i hear you on missing the intimacy, especially when your heart still wants him despite everything he’s put you through. something that helped me was remembering that i could miss someone’s touch terribly and still refuse to go back to a situation that left me feeling unwanted.
when you imagine being intimate with him again, do you miss the closeness you two shared, or do you find yourself hoping that this time he’ll finally choose you openly and give you the relationship you’ve wanted since 2020?