I ended a year-long relationship two days ago. My ex works with mostly older women and is very close and helpful with a few of them. Small things added up: he picked up favours for a coworker, and once he ran an errand for her on the day of our date. She also greeted me by name on a call even though we'd never met. Each time I said "that's fine" while feeling like I came second.
When I ended it and told him why, he said he'd made a mistake with the timing but that it was all innocent. He also said I was imagining things and asked if I wanted him to stop talking to women. I believe his intentions were innocent. I just believe a partner comes before friends, and he doesn't seem to see it that way.
I also know I didn't voice my needs before ending it, and I made some assumptions about his motives that I can't prove.
Now I'm grieving and doubting myself.
Last updated on:2026-10-15T17:47:11+05:30
Comments (4)
i feel for you because i've been in that spot where every little thing seems harmless on its own, but together they leave you feeling like you're always second. i spent so long questioning whether i was jealous or just asking for a little consideration.
i have to say what i need BEFORE i reach the point of walking away. that doesn't mean your feelings were wrong, but you deserve to know whether someone can meet you halfway before you make that decision.
you told him these things were hurting you, did he ever try to understand why you felt second, or did the conversation mostly become about you being jealous
well, you’re right to honor your feelings. obviously a boundary needs to be in place around the access that other women have to his time and attention. did he try to stop you breaking up with him? was your perspective an eye opener for him? I think his response should tell you a lot about how he feels about you and how you fit into his life.