I’m struggling to move on because, other than the breakup itself, I honestly can’t think of a time when he treated me badly. He was caring, supportive, thoughtful, and made me feel loved. We rarely fought, he listened to me, supported my goals, cooked for me, checked in about his day without me having to ask, and we had so many genuinely happy memories together.
That’s what makes this breakup so hard for me. If the relationship had been toxic or if he had consistently hurt me, I feel like I could remind myself of those things and understand why I need to let go. But instead, I keep remembering how good he was to me and wondering what suddenly changed.
He ended the relationship unexpectedly, and I still don’t feel like I fully understand why. I was so vulnerable and poured my heart out to not leave me three times he broke up, begged him to stay, so we can solve any problems he is having together. To just talk to me about whatever he is feeling, but all he said was that he is overwhelmed and anxious from work and everything.
I know I can’t force someone to stay or feel the same way, and I’m trying to respect the no contact. But I don’t know how to grieve someone who wasn’t a bad partner. I don’t want to turn him into a villain just so I can move on, because that wouldn’t be honest.
Last updated on:2026-10-16T01:39:11+05:30
Comments (8)
my ex was incredible to me for two years, made me coffee every morning, never raised his voice, and then just woke up one day and decided he was done. grieving a good partner is a special kind of nightmare because you feel like you are mourning a death while they are still walking around completely fine.
g you don't have to turn him into a villain to accept that he gave up on you. the fact that he watched you beg three times and still walked away when things got heavy is the only answer you need, even if he was amazing before that.
but him moving on super quick is crushing me so bad. I want him to suffer the same as me at least. Not because I hate him but to feel like I mattered during the relationship. Now I feel sooo replaceable easily.
I feel this exact same way. My ex partner was a good man and a good person who I deeply loved too, but then he also ended things and chose to leave out of the blue with no communication or conversation beforehand. Things are ambiguous because he said the break up was for mental health issues and wanting to work on himself, and also not knowing if he’ll want to come back and be together later on but it is possible. It hurts so much and I’m sending love your way and hope we can find our healing. I don’t think it’s needed to villainize an ex to move on and let go. The grief is worse for us because we truly do miss having a great partner and a love who we cherished and ended things unfairly and disappointed us. I think for me, all I’ve been able to do is let myself feel the pain and grief and keep going forward one day at a time to build a fulfilling life alone, but it still hurts. I’m trying to pour that love and energy back into myself, and just let go of needing my happiness to depend on the outcome of if they come back.
I’m also trying to remember it’s also holding on to knowing your worth and that as a deeply loving person, you also deserve someone who fully chooses you. I’m sorry you’re going through this kind of heartbreak too, it is the worst and so devastating.
@sadromantic Mine didn’t even leave the possibility of coming back open 😭 He was so sure he just doesn’t have romantic feelings for me anymore. He also said he needs to work on his mental health and figure out what he wants, which sounds similar to what your ex said.
During the breakup he literally asked me, “When do you think you’ll start dating again?” and I was like bruh 😭 I’m sitting here crying and falling apart and THAT is the question you came up with? It made me wonder how long he had already been thinking about moving on.
He’s the first person I’ve ever truly loved romantically, so this completely destroyed my self-worth. I’m trying to remind myself that someone losing feelings doesn’t mean I wasn’t enough but it’s been so hard. it’s hard to even just get out of bed in the mornings without ruminating.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this too. I hope both of us get to a place where we feel like ourselves again, whether they come back or not. 💗
when he broke it off that third time, did he leave any room open or was he pretty final about needing to be on his own
He was final. said his romentic feelings faded and he didn’t know why. so, he’s been detaching himself from me two months before he broke up with me. I didn’t know because there were no signs at all. He was still talking about moving in together and taking me to the events with him. and just on a random day, he decided to break up.