How do you all deal with knowing your ex is going on dates? I know it’s inevitable, but definitely doesn’t make it any easier. I also keep telling myself even if he starts dating someone, it likely won’t last because he is an extreme avoidant. He acts great for about 2 months—lots of effort, etc. But if anything of issue surfaces, he shuts down and expects anyone to just accept it. Do secure people go along with this and think it’s okay?
Last updated on:2026-10-16T22:50:19+05:30
Comments (4)
the only way i stopped caring about who my ex was seeing was turning my phone face down and putting all that fierce energy back into my own goals.
do you think looking out for clues about his new dates is your brain trying to find proof that he is still the same messy avoidant underneath?
hmm maybe. I don’t really know a ton about how his old relationships functioned. I know he tends to date people for awhile but I think they’re pretty superficial. I tried to get him to be more serious and committed and that basically just made him shut down and always want to end things.
I think I’m more curious at this point about the people he dates and how they react towards him once his avoidant behavior comes out. like an experiment lol
finding out my ex took someone else to our favorite spot four months after we split literally knocked the wind out of me, and that visual of them starting over with a blank slate hurts like hell.